


as long as i break your heart

by jaehymns



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Friends With Benefits, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-21 18:02:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22667641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaehymns/pseuds/jaehymns
Summary: yujae fwb!au.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Nakamoto Yuta
Comments: 50
Kudos: 157





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> !!! this is unbeta'd, i haven't read through it properly and there are a shit-ton of mistakes. i'm posting this unrefined and as a work-in-progress (hopefully this will be beta'd in the future).
> 
> other than that, lots of side-pairings are in this story. enjoy.

Jaehyun had a pretty good sense of direction, he wasn't the type to get lost in new surroundings and often found a way —sooner than later— to get to his destination. During foreign trips with his two best friends he'd been the one who often found solutions when the 4G connection and free Wi-Fi gave up on them. He had more luck with guessing the directions based on street sign reading than following the four hour routes Google Maps tried to direct them towards.

But the University he was standing in was currently more challenging and intimidating to navigate through than any of the places he'd been to before. Hell, amidst the stress he was under right now he'd swear the tropics he'd adventured around in his gap year had been easier than this.

Jaehyun fiddled through his phone to double check that he was on the correct way to his next class, the heavy backpack was making his shoulders droop and _fuck_ , why did his laptop have to be so goddam heavy?

Students were bustling about, hurrying to classes and he was reminded again he had a class to get to very quickly.

Distant laughter caught his ears and Jaehyun instinctively looked up. Further down towards the open cafeteria a group of guys sat down, seemingly to be in loud conversation with one another. One of them with light hair burst into laughter again and he registered the familiar sound having been the one that made him look up. He's sitting on the table, standing out with the others hovering around the seats instead.

As if sensing his eyes on him, the guy looked up, catching Jaehyun's gaze. He still had a wide smile on his lips, but his eyes shifted when landing on him. Intense, observant. And pretty.

The guy's eyes drifted off and were back on listening in on whatever one of the others were suddenly saying, the group around all engaging in a story with lots of hand movements and exaggerated reactions.

Jaehyun eyes left the group and checked the big clock hanging above them in the cafeteria. _Fuck, no, no._

He was going to be late to class. With the frustration of his direction sense betraying him for the very first time in his life, he cursed under his breath and hauled ass down the opening hall to where he hoped his lecture was taking place.

***

Saturday nights always spiraled out of control.

''It's not worth it,'' Jaehyun said, trying to convince his friend to put his phone down.

He was met with Jungwoo's drunk face, bewildered and slurring. All in dramatic fashion of course, on brand and all with the boy studying theater.

''What isn't worth it, huh?'' Jungwoo exclaimed, stretching his arm out in the opposite direction of them to avoid anyone snatching his phone out his hand. The Grindr app was open and was currently displaying a huge cock on screen.

''What if I want to enjoy myself for once — something easy and non complicated!'' the blonde boy continued, voice thicker and on the brim of tears by each passing second.

The boys in the dorm had decided to have a gathering, grab a few drinks and probably head out to the local bars around campus later in the night. Seeing how Jaehyun's two best friends were in the same dormitory and a lot of their mutual friends from younger years, he assimilated to the dorm quickly. Jaehyun wasn't popular exactly, but he was well acquainted with a lot of people and well liked, so he barely found trouble getting into the uni life after being away from the city life for so long.

All of the boys in the dorm were studying for different degrees and the only common determinator they had was Johnny, the social elité of the group who had all gathered them from his friend groups over the years. Johnny had managed to rent the larger available student apartment floor on campus where they all lived, sharing the space of a living room, kitchen and bathrooms with separate bedrooms. They were an odd group, six guys all together that Jaehyun could admit that he had taken the time of learning the names of at first, but it was a sweet dorm with good rent so they got along well enough. He'd been able to form new bonds within the group faster than he'd expected to as well.

And at least Jaehyun could say that they were consistent. Jungwoo managed to cry about his friends-with-benefits-turned-into-crush every Saturday night without fail when the tequila shot kicked in.

''Fine,'' Jaehyun sighed, reaching for the drinks on the table to mix a red-bull vodka. ''Fuck this dude on Grindr to forget your crush, do whatever, as long as it makes you feel better.''

Jungwoo glared at him over his uncaring tone and Doyoung who caught the rising tension decided to chime in.

''Hey,'' Doyoung interjected softly, hand on Jungwoo's tense shoulder, ''let's go out for a smoke, yeah?''

Doyoung didn't smoke much, so Jaehyun made sure to send the taller boy a thankful look when Jungwoo grumbled a 'yes' under his breath and left the couch. They quickly went with Doyoung softly comforting Jungwoo.

''Think they need my help?''

Johnny appeared from the kitchen with a beer in hand, tipsy smile wide and handsome appearance in check. He didn't seem very concerned and he couldn't blame him. It happened every fucking Saturday without fail.

''Nah,'' Jaehyun replied, shaking his head and staring down at his drink. He frowned. ''I just don't get it, you know? How do you manage to fall in love with your friend-with-benefits? You cut that shit out the moment you realize it's happening.''

The older boy shrugged, settling down comfortably on their ratty sofa. The other boys came to join them from the kitchen now, Hendery and Ten giggling from all the mojitos they'd made.

Ten immediately noticed Jungwoo's absence and asked where they headed out only to go and check on him.

''The hookup-boy drama again?'' Hendery asked, and Johnny nodded.

''I don't know if it's that easy to deal with once you're in that position,'' Johnny said in continuation of Jaehyun's previous statement. ''You become sort of in denial of your own feelings until it blows up in your face.''

Jaehyun rolled his eyes. ''C'mon, Johnny. Really? We've both had our fair share of long-term hookups. You've never seen me crying over any of them on a Saturday night.''

''Only every other weekday,'' Hendery piped in jokingly, grinning. Jaehyun scoffed in response and playfully shoved him.

''Right.''

Johnny reached for his phone to switch songs of their pre-party playlists to something loud and booming, lifting the mood up.

''Let's not judge Jungwoo too much, okay?'' the oldest boy raised his voice to be heard over the loud music, Johnny once again showing his caring nature for each of them in the way he stood up for the younger. ''I bet he's going through a hard time. Let's just be more chill about it whenever he gets this way.''

Jaehyun nodded, guilt creeping up and noting to himself that he'd apologize to the younger boy when he got the chance. He couldn't imagine himself ever being in the same situation and easily got judgemental. It was a bad trait, and he was going to attempt working on it.

''Alright,'' he said apologetically and Hendery echoed in agreement.

The booming music got louder and he was sure they were going to get a complaint soon.

''Shots?'' Hendery suggested light-heartedly, the pretty boy's wolfish smile mirroring the ones that were growing on both Johnny and Jaehyun's faces.

''Shots!'' Johnny shouted in approval.

Eight vodka shots in and it quickly becomes a bit blurry after that, the three of them taking an uber into the club street of the city after having sent a text to the others that they were heading out. Jaehyun only remembered fist bumping with their uber driver after getting the aux cord and afterwards stumbling onto the club street, flirting with a group of people on the way into the club and dancing with them while cheering as their drinks clinked in celebration of something he couldn't recall.

When Jaehyun checked his phone at 3AM he decided to sober up a bit before heading back. He didn't want to think about the hangover he'd get if he continued drinking in this state.

At this point of the night the other boys had eventually joined them and their dorm group was scattered around in the club doing their own thing, some might've already left.

Jaehyun exited the club doors and to the empty area of the street. A few people were lingering around and when he put a cigarette between his lips, about to light it, a girl came up asking if he had a cigarette to spare. He was kind enough to give her one and lit his own cigarette together with hers. She sent him a grateful smile before heading back to her friends.

He took a long drag out of his cigarette and closed his eyes for a second, enjoying the cold air and smoke around him. The club music in the background and the few chattering people around smoking made for an atmosphere Jaehyun could easily get addicted to. He loved it.

Something caught his eyes at the corner of his vision and Jaehyun turned to the guy who managed to get his attention. Light hair, bomber jacket and piercings with an unlit cigarette between his lips. He was struggling to find a lighter as he roamed in his pockets so Jaehyun instinctively stepped closer in front of him, catching the others' surprise at his sudden appearance.

Jaehyun lit the cigarette between the guys' pretty lips.

''Thanks,'' the other mumbled in response, voice low and making something warm come across Jaehyun's body.

He couldn't keep his eyes off him, openly looking at the stunning features across the guy's face. The guy was breathtaking, with hooded eyes and plump lips that Jaehyun could bet was from recent kissing. His hair was a bit tousled but fell into his eyes prettily.

The guy was beyond attractive.

The other noticed his gaze, a cat-like smirk forming on his lips as he took a drag out of his cigarette.

''You look familiar,'' Jaehyun said easily, not caring about how corny it sounded. This just made the others smirk grow wider, eyes raking over Jaehyun's body to observe him properly now.

''I'm sure I do,'' the guy retorted, voice amused, leaning against the wall of the club building. ''Just one of those faces, huh?''

Jaehyun laughed, eyes not leaving the others. ''Yeah. It's not a face you'd forget.''

The guy hummed appreciatively, eating up the wanting look apparent in Jaehyun's eyes and extended the hand that wasn't holding his cigarette. ''I'm Yuta.''

''Jaehyun.'' His own hand was bigger than the others, feeling warm at the contact.

He was sure his eyes were obvious as to what he's seeking because _fuck_ , Jaehyun's not sure when the last time was he saw a guy this attractive. The guy's presence was captivating.

''How come I haven't seen you around, Jaehyun?'' Yuta asked, repeating Jaehyun's name and tasting it on his lips. It made Jaehyun smile. He wanted to hear his name more often in the others mouth, in more ways than one.

Jaehyun took a last drag out of his cigarette and threw the last of it before responding. ''I just came back last month, I'd been backpacking around Asia before I decided to study again. Got into the University not far from here.''

Yuta exclaimed into an 'ah', somehow having made a connection. Jaehyun perked an eyebrow in curiosity.

''I go to the same one,'' Yuta explained, putting a new cigarette between his lips after finishing the first one and Jaehyun lighted it without question. ''I study social science. Two terms left.''

Jaehyun tried rummaging through his brain of any memory in seeing the other guy around, but his intoxicated mind went blank.

''I'm surprised I haven't seen you around,'' Jaehyun said, eyes pausing on the other guy's lips for a second.

The other caught it. His eyes were getting a certain look in them when watching Jaehyun, intense. Jaehyun could get an arousal with these eyes on him, there's something about the look of them. Like they were seeing _through_ him. Undressing. He fucking relished in it.

Jaehyun took a step closer, mind hazy but full of want for the other in front of him. At this close proximity he could feel the others body heat and smell of smoke, cologne and alcohol.

His hand reached for the piercings on Yuta's left ear and he could hear how his breath hitched when Jaehyun softly touched them.

''Pretty,'' Jaehyun murmured, feeling his breath close to the other.

There were barely any people around now, it being the time of the night when the streets outside the club were getting empty, the occasional taxis and ubers waiting outside to pick up the drunken passengers. Jaehyun glanced down the street, mind racing.

''Where are you headed to?'' Yuta asked, following his eyes.

''Yours?'' Jaehyun suggested sweetly, being bold.

Yuta laughed, appreciating his confidence. His eyes were back on Jaehyun again, giving him one last once-over as if he was determining whether he'd be a decent fuck or not.

With Jaehyun's ego being wounded over the consideration even having to be made then decided to close the distance between them, catching the others' soft lips in his.

His body pressed closer to the other, deepening the kiss and putting his hands on the other guy's narrow hips. He could feel how Yuta's hands roamed lower and Jaehyun grind down, shameless about the public setting, almost getting off on it. He heard the other slip out a low moan, making Jaehyun press harder to his lips in satisfaction.

Yuta was the one who broke them apart, giving Jaehyun one last look before taking his wrist and heading down the street towards the available rides.

''Let's go.''

Jaehyun grinned.

**

He felt like he was going to pass out from how good everything was. The room was dimly lit, the only light coming from the one in the hallway. The air between them was hot with their body heat mixing. The outlines from Yuta's naked body were defined by the light coming from behind and the thought crossed Jaehyun's mind that he'd never found anyone to look so irresistible undressed.

The light haired boy was perked up in front of him, legs wide enough to allow himself to slip in his own two wet fingers drenching from the lube. The sight was ungodly, the moans coming from the other boy even worse. Hearing the wet sounds from Yuta fucking himself in front of him made Jaehyun's head dizzy.

Yuta caught his eyes, holding his gaze carefully as he bounced down on his fingers. He never let go of Jaehyun's eyes on him while he slowly stretched himself out. His cock twitched with every movement and he knew that he wouldn't be able to hold back for much longer, knowing he could come just by the sight of this.

The prettiness during all of it that Yuta possessed was something Jaehyun couldn't fully process. He looked unreal with lips parted, face flushed and back arched to deeper access his fingers. Jaehyun was in awe.

''Fuck me,'' Yuta demanded.

Jaehyun smirked.

''Ask kindly,'' he replied simply, leaning back on his arms as he watched the other continue to bounce on his fingers, slowly, prettily. Damn.

Yuta glared at him, staring him down, but Jaehyun knew he was on the verge of breaking and needed Jaehyun inside of him.

_''Now.''_

Jaehyun waited.

''Please.''

In a swift moment Jaehyun had the other boy underneath him, satisfied with the excitement visible in the others expression. He wanted this as much as he did.

He put his larger hand over Yuta's, gently pulling the others fingers out of his ass. The way Yuta immediately clenched from the loss of his fingers made Jaehyun curse under his breath.

He got up, positioning Yuta properly underneath him. When he looked down he caught how the other was watching his every move as he lubed up his cock and put on the condom. Jaehyun tried to figure out how he wanted it.

Meeting Yuta's intense gaze, eyes lidded and lips wet by licking them he then decided.

He perked up Yuta's legs up on his own shoulders, hearing the gasp let out from the others lips and being unable to hide his own smile forming.

''Fuck,'' he heard the other moan when Jaehyun slowly entered him. He was hissing, moving slowly until he bottomed out.

They stayed still for a second, and Jaehyun found the position strangely intimate. He was close to Yuta, he could even make out his eyelashes in the dim light around them. Looking into Yuta's dark eyes, he felt something electric go through his entire body.

Something shifted in the air.

Jaehyun started fucking into him roughly, matching the pace with Yuta's low whines and the sound of their slapping skin. He got high on the noises they were making, the sound of the creaking bed and wet sounds coming from their bodies slapping against each other.

He listened to how Yuta told him to fuck him _harder, rougher, faster_ and oh god, Jaehyun could feel the others legs shaking from his hold on his shoulders and could only imagine the ache starting to form for the other. Heat was building around them and for each time his cock met Yuta's ass he felt bliss.

Seeing Yuta's blown out eyes and wide mouth open moaning his name he wondered if he'd ever had a fuck this good.

Yuta cried out in pleasure when he came, he followed seconds after with a groan only to fall on his back against the bed, breathing heavily. A laughter escaped Yuta's lips and when Jaehyun turned to look at him, he saw the other smiling widely, completely fucked-out of it and content.

Jaehyun found him cute like that.

He watched the other guy fall asleep before he drifted off into sleep as well. Jaehyun woke up shortly after from the sun rising, sunlight shining through from the open window in the room and getting directly into his eyes. Seeing Yuta fast asleep next to him, naked with their body fluids dried all over the bed, Jaehyun wished they'd cleaned up.

He got up, silently gathering his clothes before putting them on and slipping out of the apartment.

**

Jaehyun had misplaced his keys somewhere, probably given it to Johnny or Hendery sometime during the night, so he texted Doyoung to come get the door for him.

He was met with a grumpy Jungwoo walking down the apartment complex, Snoopy pyjamas-pants and a shirt way too big for his frame on.

''Hey, thanks,'' Jaehyun said softly when the younger guy opened the door. The dorm was eerily quiet and he wondered if any of the guys even made it home or decided for a detour like him.

The reminder of his hookup made him take notice of Jungwoo, at home, seemingly not having gone after his massive-cock man on Grindr if he judged by how newly-awaken he looked.

''Did you have fun?'' Jungwoo asked, heading into the kitchen and Jaehyun sauntered behind him after having taken off his shoes in the doorway.

He got offered a glass of cold water the other poured up for him and he took it gratefully, gulping it down.

''Yeah,'' he said. ''It was fun.''

Jungwoo nodded, yawning and attempting to rub the tiredness out of his eyes. Affection ran through Jaehyun by the sight of it, and he felt bad for what he'd said during the night.

''I'm sorry for what I said,'' he murmured, meeting Jungwoo's surprised look from bringing it up. ''You know I just— I should've been more understanding about it, yeah? Sorry.''

Jungwoo smiled and, to no surprise, embraced Jaehyun and planted a kiss on his cheek despite Jaehyun trying to dodge it.

A big smile framed Jungwoo's lips. ''Thank you,'' he said sweetly, looking at Jaehyun with warm eyes and it was truly the most adorable thing ever.

''I don't like seeing you hurt,'' Jaehyun admitted.

''I'm the one who's putting up with it,'' Jungwoo said, eyes drifting off. ''I don't even know what I'm doing. I just like him a lot.''

Whoever _he_ was remained a mystery to all of the boys in the dormitory, and even though Ten had been pressing about the name of the boy breaking Jungwoo's heart, the rest had left it alone.

''Come here,'' he murmured softly, pulling the younger by the arm and going to lay on the sofa. Jungwoo cuddled up next to him and they fell asleep like that.

* * *

playing in the speakers of the club: _[**right amount of wrong**](https://youtu.be/G2BaDTDpSOU) by gianni blu_


	2. two

It went four days before Yuta crossed Jaehyun's mind, and it was when he'd been in the middle of trying to relieve himself of the hard-on sprung on him. He had his back on his bed, hand under his sweatpants as he touched himself roughly.

Images of Saturday night crossed his mind; Yuta's intense eyes, pretty lips, soft skin and Jaehyun remembered the way the other guy's voice had been whining his name.

Jaehyun came embarrassingly quickly into is hand after that, breathing heavily at how vividly he remembered the other.

He stared into the void of his room for several minutes before making up his mind of what to do next. After cleaning himself up from the mess he then goes to reach for his phone.

**To:** Johnny

_Dude, do you know a Yuta around campus?_

His phone buzzed in response shortly.

**From:** Johnny

_Nakamoto Yuta? In social science?_

Jaehyun recalled the light haired boy having mentioned something about social science.

**To:** Johnny

_Yeah, send his number. I need it_

When Johnny attached the phone number into their texting thread without any further questions, Jaehyun raised a surprised eyebrow at the screen. He guessed the older boy was gonna ask him about it next time he saw him or—

Another buzz followed.

**From:** Johnny

_Oh, and you're taking my dishwashing duty on Friday! ;)_

Jaehyun groaned. Right. There it came.

He gave the message a thumbs down reaction before getting up from the bed and exited out of his room into the big living space they all shared, peeking out to see if anyone was around. When he's met with silence he sighed in relief. Dodged an aftermath masturbation eye contact with any of the boys once again.

When Jaehyun poured himself some snacks to eat he paused to look at his phone he'd left on the counter.

He then opens it.

**To:** Yuta

_Hey, it's Jaehyun._

Forty minutes passed before a response came through, and by that time Jaehyun had put on a crime show on Netflix and was at the end of the episode.

He opened up the text message and couldn't help the sudden laugh that escaped his mouth when he read it.

**From:** Yuta

_The Jaehyun who left me cum-dried in my own bed?_

Jaehyun grinned, probably way more than he should over such a simple response, but he found Yuta witty.

**To:** Yuta

_I'm sorry!! I promise to clean you up next time?_

He added a pouting emoji for effect, hoping it at least would make the other smile.

The next text came through faster and Jaehyun instantly opened it, seeing no point in delaying his responses.

**From:** Yuta

_'Next time'... Big talk for a guy who I haven't even decided to give a second chance to yet._

_Fair enough,_ he thought to himself. Jaehyun typed quickly, pausing only to look out of the big windows taking up the living room walls. It was around evening, clouds getting darker and the sun was still resting on top of the horizon before setting.

**To:** Yuta

_I can make it up to you. I'm free right now, actually._

This time the text came through slower from the other, and Jaehyun would be lying if he said he wasn't a bit nervous. He really wanted too see Yuta again — _fuck_ him again— and this was the determining factor in whether or not they'd see each other again.

Phone buzz.

Jaehyun stared dumbfounded at the location pin in display on the phone screen, not believing his eyes until another text rolled in confirming it.

**From:** Yuta

_I'm at this address, call me when you're outside._

Jaehyun got up from the sofa quickly, not bothering to change from his sweatpants and put on his sneakers before heading out the dorm with his car keys. It was definitely a new record for how fast Jaehyun had gotten out of the door for a booty-call.

**

He noticed the apartment building being really nice when he pulled up to it, different from the torn-down dorms Jaehyun was living at. It was clearly an out of campus renting the older boy was living at, and he could see the appeal of it. The area was free from the bustling students around campus and was located at a calm neighborhood. The only con he could think of was it being a bit of a distance from classes.

When Jaehyun called Yuta, he only waited a minute before the other came down to open up the door into the complex for him.

Yuta met him with a wide grin, and Jaehyun didn't know why he broke into one too, maybe it was the memories of the previous night they'd shared or the one about to be made.

''You got here awfully quickly,'' the other remarked gladly as they took the elevator up to his floor.

He took note of how much friendlier Yuta was in person over his direct way of texting.

Jaehyun looked at the other and was baffled by how _good_ he looked. Much better than he remembered. How's that possible?

Yuta's light hair was tied up now except for the short strands escaping the little bun that his hair tie couldn't hold up. He was wearing an open side tank top and Jaehyun saw a lot of skin, already getting worked up by just the sight of the other. There was something about the energy Yuta carried, it demanded attention.

''Yeah,'' Jaehyun responded, a beat too late. ''I figured I'd hurry.''

Yuta gave him an amused look. They got out of the elevator and Yuta let him get inside of his apartment.

Jaehyun didn't take any note of the apartment, it being the least of his interest right now, because all he could focus on when getting inside was how good the thin chain around Yuta's neck looked, how pretty the piercings on his ears were. He couldn't stop looking at him.

Yuta seemed to notice because he raised an eyebrow at him in question when they were in his room and Jaehyun's gaze was still stuck on him.

He snapped himself out of it. 

''I'm gonna be honest,'' he declared, attempting to lighten the tone of the room and pointed at his clothing of choice. ''I didn't even get the chance to change out of my clothes.''

''I _knew_ you were smelling fresh of cum. Are those your wank pants?''

Jaehyun choked and Yuta burst laughing, eyes twinkling.

''I'm kidding,'' Yuta laughed, but when Jaehyun looked at him flustered he paused to meet his expression. ''Wait, they actually are? Wow.''

''Shut up,'' Jaehyun shot back, but there's no bite in his tone. He sat down on the bed frame, the only familiar thing in the room that Jaehyun could recognize from last time.

He felt the bed sink down when Yuta lied down next to him, feeling the body heat from the other by their close proximity. Yuta leaned back towards the headboard as he light a cigarette and Jaehyun frowned.

''You smoke indoors? Nasty, dude.''

Yuta shrugged, taking a long drag out before meeting his eyes. ''Only when I'm stressed out. And there's no balconies for the one-bedroom apartments here, so.''

He held Jaehyun's eyes locked to his as he was talking, looking like he enjoyed the eye contact. 

It's odd how comfortable the air around them was, especially since it were their first time meeting each other in a sober state. The sun was settling down now and Yuta's room had dim lights around it, making for a cozy atmosphere with the books sprawled around everywhere.

It was the first thing Jaehyun noticed about the place. A bunch of books and papers were piled up on the desk at the end of the room. He must've been studying before Jaehyun texted.

''My ass is still sore from last time,'' Yuta pointed out, grimacing for effect. ''And that was days ago.''

Jaehyun shifted in the bed. He stared at the thin chain around Yuta's neck and the way his throat moved with each inhale of the cigarette… Jaehyun tugged at his lips absentmindedly. He cleared his throat.

''Do you deepthroat?''

Yuta stilled. ''You wanna fuck my mouth?''

Jaehyun met his eyes and Yuta's bore into him.

_Fuck._ He's so hot.

''Yeah.''

Yuta put the cigarette out, blowing out the last drag before he wet his lips and got closer to Jaehyun. He held his breath until Yuta closed the distance between them, melting into his lips and how the other hummed warmly against his. Jaehyun pressed their bodies closer, wanting to feel every inch of him.

It's like once he got started he couldn't stop touching Yuta; his hands already lowering at the sides and stopping by the opening of the tank top he was wearing. He carefully circled his thumbs around Yuta's nipples, earning an open moan into his mouth. It goes straight to his cock, and he's sure Yuta could feel how hard he's getting through the sweatpants.

Jaehyun broke their kiss and couldn't help the delight he felt when Yuta chased after his lips at the loss of contact. Satisfied, he stared into the other boy's hooded eyes filled with lust, making him watch when he wet his fingers achingly slow. He brought his hand to the newfound sensitive spot of the other and when the wet fingers came in contact with Yuta's nipples he felt how he jolted in response, letting out a hiss of pleasure at the sensation.

''You just know what turns me on, huh?'' Yuta praised in between a low moan, and Jaehyun ate it up.

Jaehyun aimed to be the embodiment of what turned him on.

He found Yuta's mouth again and slowly lowered the other down the bed, leveling himself above him until he moved the others' legs apart with his knee. He applied pressure on it and could feel Yuta's growing length on him, hearing him whine at the contact.

''Touch yourself when I fuck into your mouth,'' Jaehyun demanded into Yuta's ear and felt the other nod as well as Yuta's heavy breathing into his neck from the stifling hot air around them.

Jaehyun got up on the bed to undress them, underwear and sweatpants both falling off when his gaze fell on Yuta laying there, bare and intense eyes meeting his own. Jaehyun's eyes went from staring at Yuta's wet lips down to his throat, lingering at the thin chain left that accessorize his neck so prettily.

''You can pull on it. I don't mind.''

He met Yuta's soft eyes with surprise, hesitating. He'd be too worried about the possibilities of Yuta getting hurt.

As if being able to read Jaehyun just like that, he gave him a reassuring smile. ''I'll let you know if it hurts.''

The silent _'trust me'_ hung in the air. Jaehyun's struck with the thought of how fucking crazy it was that he so easily fell into this with Yuta. 

He hovered his hands over the silver chain before holding it underneath his hands. He pulled carefully on it.

Yuta hummed encouragingly. ''Harder.''

Jaehyun pulled with more strength this time and saw how Yuta's cock that was flushed on his stomach twitch in response.

The sound that came from the others mouth made Jaehyun's face heat up.

Yuta suddenly perked up with eagerness in his eyes, positioning himself to sit nicely on his ass and aligned his face to Jaehyun's crotch. The sight of Yuta looking up at him as he took Jaehyun's cock into his wet mouth was too much.

Jaehyun held back a moan that was threatening to spill out, breaking eye contact to lean his head back in pleasure.

As if demanding his eyes to stay on him, Yuta took him further into his mouth and made him gasp at the warmth surrounding him.

''Oh, fuck.''

In response, Yuta's hands moved to grab Jaehyun's ass, urging him to move into his drooling mouth. Jaehyun let out a laugh in disbelief from how obscene and _filthy_ it all was when he curled his fingers into Yuta's hair while starting up a pace.

He grabbed the chain by Yuta's neck with his free hand from underneath and pulled hard, towards him, with each thrust. The sight of his cock going in and out of Yuta's mouth, drool leaving the others open lips and the tears starting to form on the corners of Yuta's eyes made Jaehyun feel overwhelmed. 

Jaehyun couldn't hold in the moans leaving his mouth at this point, letting it join in the lewd noises their bodies were making and he felt one of Yuta's hands tighten around his ass appreciatively.

He was close to the edge when he felt something hot and wet spurt around them. The bliss taking over Yuta's facial expression with the tears of pleasure coming from the corner of his eyes made Jaehyun gasp.

He came seconds after, riding his orgasm as he gently fucked the last few strokes into Yuta's mouth.

When he pulled out of the others mouth he expected Yuta to spit immediately, so when he saw him visibly swallow Jaehyun stared at him dumbfounded.

''You didn't have to do that.''

Yuta lied down on the bed, some of his own fluids visible on his naked body. ''I did it because I wanted to.''

His voice was hoarse and low. 

Without thinking much of it Jaehyun leaned down, gently placing a kiss on the other's mouth. ''Thanks.''

Surprise painted Yuta's face, and before anything else exchanged between them Jaehyun got up on shaky legs. He asked for the toilet and after going into the direction the other pointed at he returned with a damp towel.

Jaehyun cleaned Yuta up in silence, something intimate having fallen across the room.

When he was done, and having cleaned himself too, Jaehyun tossed the towel aside and laid down beside Yuta. He looked at him unabashedly.

Yuta's warm eyes met his and kept him locked in.

''You're fucking unreal,'' Jaehyun breathed, seeing Yuta break into a wide grin and shoving him.

Yuta rolled his eyes at the compliment but the grin didn't budge. ''How did you get my number, anyway?''

Jaehyun decided to play with Yuta's chain before responding, garnering a stare at his boldness.

Yes, he's touchy. It's something Jaehyun had always been, around friends and hookups alike, he found no shame in doing small gestures like these. And he liked it.

Yuta wasn't pushing him away, so he kept doing it.

''I asked my friend for it, Johnny, and he gave it,'' Jaehyun answered.

He heard a scoff come from the other. ''Of course you know Johnny Seo.''

Jaehyun frowned, hand dropping from the others neck. Defense for his best friend kicked in. ''What do you mean?'' 

Yuta caught his hand before it fell off his chest, softening his gaze. ''No, I don't mean anything bad by it,'' he explained. ''I just mean that it fits, the guy's like a social butterfly. You seem the type to draw those in.''

Ah.

''Are you calling me the pied piper for popular jock-esque types?''

Yuta burst into a bright laughter, filling up the whole room with warmth. It's a laugh that made you break into a smile when hearing it and Jaehyun was sure that if he ever heard it in a full-packed location, he'd turn his head towards it.

Jaehyun looked at Yuta and thought of his glowing energy, wide smile and how glinting his eyes were when he laughed. He's sure Yuta was the type to be adored by everyone around him, if how easily Jaehyun took a liking to him was anything to go by.

They eventually got dressed but instead of Jaehyun bee-lining for the door, he and the older boy got into a conversation about his backpacking trip around Asia when he spotted a globe in the apartment. The conversation carried into them talking about where his favorite destinations had been which further goes into the topic of the living conditions in many of the countries he'd visited. Yuta explained a lot of the causes for the societal crisis' occurring at the moment that he'd gained knowledge from his years of studying.

They continued like that, jumping from a topic to life experiences to funny stories. Yuta showed more of his wide smile and Jaehyun fell into the habit of telling his stories with exaggerated facial expressions that further made the other smile.

It's weird. They'd been fucking an hour ago but were currently laughing like friends.

Jaehyun found himself enjoying Yuta's company a bit too much, especially when the older boy let him eat the Häaegen-Dazs ice cream in the fridge. When the night fell on them and it's time to leave, disappointment about the night ending so soon settled in.

He told Yuta to text him before leaving and received a wink in response.

For the first time after a booty call, Jaehyun really, _really_ hoped he'd hear back from the other.

***

Jaehyun's about to snooze off at his lecture the next day. He had his snapback, reading glasses and hoodie on with his reflection staring back at him from the black screen of his laptop. The screen had turned off due to his lack of use of it and he hadn't bothered reviving it.

The lecturer's voice continued to drawl and Jaehyun was really about to drift off again when he felt the vibration of his phone in his pocket. He sneaked a peek at the message notification.

**From:** Yuta

_Focus, kid._

He looked up from his phone to have his eyes roam the glass doors of the lecture hall and found Yuta standing there, grin on his face.

Jaehyun couldn't resist the small smile playing on his lips. The sight of the older boy put him in a playful mood, so he sent a text in retaliation of the 'kid' comment.

**To:** Yuta

_Yes, daddy_

He saw Yuta sputter outside of the door and had to suppress a laugh. Yuta sent him a disapproving grimace and this time Jaehyun really tried to hold his laughter in before it burst. He glanced around him to see if anyone had taken notice, but the students around him looked equally as bored as he'd previously been.

Another notification came in.

**From:** Yuta

_Gross. When do you get out of the lecture?_

Jaehyun checked the time on his phone.

**To:** Yuta

_20 minutes_

To Jaehyun's slight surprise, the others next text told him to meet him at the cafeteria right across campus when he's done.

When he got out of the lecture and walked into the cafeteria, he's glad to see Yuta sitting in a visible spot at the corner sofas of the place. 

''Hey,'' Jaehyun greeted, settling in front of the other.

Yuta was sitting comfortably with his laptop open in front of him and notebooks around him spread, a few post-it notes filling up the displayed pages.

He had a black tee on, hair let out with silver rings adorning his fingers as he typed on the keyboard. Seeing the other for the first time in a more casual setting, not the club nor his apartment, sent a thrill through Jaehyun's body.

There's something exciting about seeing someone in an everyday environment after knowing how they looked sprawled on a bed, moaning your name.

Jaehyun found Yuta irresistible, even like this.

''Is your throat alright?'' Jaehyun asked, eyes drifting off to Yuta's neck where the thin chain was still hanging. The only hint of last night was the faint redness around and Yuta's voice being more raspy than usual.

Yuta gave him a look. ''It's fine. Now I have a sore ass _and_ a sore throat though, so thanks.''

Jaehyun laughed, his dimples showing through.

The cafeteria had a relaxed feeling to it, not a lot of people were around and the sound of the baristas working the counter brewing coffee made for a soothing effect.

''I would've ordered you something,'' the other mentioned apologetically when reaching for his own coffee, ''but I have no clue what you drink.''

''That's fine, I usually just take an iced Americano.''

Yuta hummed in approval, eyes staying on Jaehyun when he reached for his backpack to bring out his books.

''You study finance?'' Yuta exclaimed in surprise when his eyes landed on Jaehyun's textbook.

The pure shock in his expression made Jaehyun laugh, enjoying the comedic effect of it all.

''Yeah,'' Jaehyun said easily, his smile widening when Yuta grabbed two of his notebooks from his business communications and managerial accounting classes in disbelief.

''I never would've thought,'' Yuta admitted, gaze going back to observe Jaehyun. ''You struck me as being more of an esthetically inclined type of person.''

He thought of the guys in the dorm, how they all studied different things but had a root interest in the arts whether it was performing or designing. Their stay-in sessions at the dorm with guitar playing and singing came to mind.

Jaehyun shrugged. ''I think majority of people are esthetic these days, with music and theater being all around us. But I grew up in a household with more interest in business and economics though, so I had it kinda easy with math subjects growing up.''

Yuta sent him a dirty look, though with no real menace behind it. ''Lucky fuck. I barely passed math.''

He sympathized with him. ''Yeah, I don't know. Finance just made sense in the end.''

Jaehyun came from a middle-class family, they weren't extremely well off but lived comfortably. Having had easy access to tutors growing up it provided him with skills in the subjects harder for most people in school.

He didn't enjoy finance, per se, but it worked. He had a problem-solving personality and was relatively laid-back enough to handle stressful environments with deadlines and offices. But based on their conversation last night, he found what Yuta was studying much more fulfilling.

''What got you into social science?'' Jaehyun asked, genuine interest in his tone. ''We never went over it last night.''

''I'm good at it,'' Yuta answered simply, no hint of shyness in his posture. ''I think there's a certain type of understanding, interest and sympathy that's needed when you're preparing to work in this field. You're dealing with people's lives and societal structures. The work you put in impacts someone's livelihood later on, you know? And I've always felt prepared to take on that responsibility.''

Jaehyun nodded, listening attentively to the older boy. Yuta spoke with an air of authority and was very observing, eyes sharp and never having missed any detail Jaehyun had told him. He could tell that he'd be phenomenal working in any career under the social science degree.

It was attractive how intelligent Yuta was.

They continued to talk about previous school years of theirs, and Jaehyun found out that Yuta's family moved here not long ago from Japan. The older boy talked about the transition of it and got into his food preferences after complaining about the lack of Japanese cuisine around which had Jaehyun enthusiastically join in on the food conversation.

It went on like that in between their studying, a comment here and there that ensued in a longer conversation and then they're back to studying. It's only later into the evening when the cafeteria was about to close up that they decided to pack up and leave.

When they stood outside the doors of the cafeteria, heading to leave, Jaehyun offered him a ride home since he knew that it's a bit of a walking distance to Yuta's apartment building.

''I enjoy a bit of walking, but thanks,'' Yuta said, lifting up his hand with wired headphones to emphasize.

Jaehyun nodded, not making a move to leave yet. He's staring at Yuta, knowing that the other probably found him shameless at the way he's looking at him.

''Text me, yeah?'' Jaehyun added before they departed.

Yuta's smile widened with the way Jaehyun's staring at his lips.

''Alright,'' Yuta said, giving him a last farewell before putting his headphones on and walking his way down the street.

Jaehyun stood there bothered, not shaking off the feeling that he was expecting a kiss of some sort. He watched Yuta walk further away until he moved out of instinct.

He caught up to the older boy and then is met with Yuta's startled face when he leaned to kiss him.

It's short but sweet and when they broke the kiss, Jaehyun's satisfied.

Yuta rolled his eyes at Jaehyun's smug expression and flicked his snapback. ''Goodbye loser.''

''Bye,'' Jaehyun smirked.

He walked back to his car a bit lighter in his step.

* * *

playing from jaehyun's playlist: [**text me**](https://youtu.be/xfJPCenjZzY) by dpr live

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, jaehyun is definitely a ''where my hug at?'' type of guy.


	3. three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * the dorm system is different from the typically small, tight dormitories in university that's usually portrayed everywhere. the structure i'm using in the story is where they got more spacious apartment complex's meant for students alone at campus.
> 
> some people get their one-bedroom apartment, some share a two-bedroom one and etc. yuta for example lives off campus at a regular apartment that he rents out of school contract. the student apartments are more restrictive rule-wise but larger in size and you get clumped up with others students in the same building.
> 
> it's really just student apartments that i call ''dorms'' for the sake of my lazy writing.
> 
> a little bit of clearance. enjoy!
> 
> ///

Jaehyun had taken a nap on the sofa when he was woken up by Johnny with a rough shake and, ''dishwashing duty dude! Wake up, we're leaving soon.''

He opened his eyes with difficulty, stretching out on the sofa and yawning. He mumbled something incoherent and squinted his eyes at the tall boy hovering above him.

'''Sup sleepy head,'' Johnny grinned. ''It's almost seven, we're gonna grab some food before going.''

Jaehyun stared at him blankly. ''Where?'' he croaked, voice newly awaken.

The last thing he remembered was barely making it through the door after his 3 hour lecture class that Saturday, being so worn out and exhausted by staying up so late the previous Friday night that he must've decked out on the couch before he made it to his room. Not skipping out on the Saturday lecture was the worst thing he'd decided on.

Looking through the open living room windows, he saw the evening light soon about to settle.

''We're going to a dorm party not far from here,'' Johnny replied, eyes on his phone while he made room for himself next to Jaehyun on the sofa.

Jaehyun sat up now, tiredness seeping off of him. His eyes fell on the piling dishes in the opening of the kitchen and groaned at the thought of him having to clean it up.

''Do I really have to take the dishwashing today?''

''It's Saturday,'' Johnny pointed out in a sing-song, ''and _your_ dishwashing duty was last Friday which you skipped out on. Blame your dick for this, bro.''

Jaehyun threw a pillow at the other which earned him laughter rather than a cry in pain, so he reluctantly got himself off the sofa towards the kitchen.

At least he could say that it was a miracle how he'd managed to sleep through the day without any of the boys in the dorm disrupting him.

He hurried up cleaning up the dishes, feeling more awake with each passing minute that went. More of the boys returned back to the dorm when darkness finally fell outside, although a few of them missing. It was the first time in a while that all of them weren't spending a Saturday together, but Doyoung had gotten caught up with a cramming session at the library and Jungwoo was visiting his old friend out of campus to distract himself. It only ended up being himself, Johnny, Hendery and Ten going to the dorm party tonight.

''Mark is more of my friend,'' Johnny explained to Jaehyun when he'd taken his shower and was about to get ready. ''I only know Lucas through Ten and Hendery here. It's their place we're going to.''

Jaehyun nodded, only half-listening as he put on his clothes, not being particularly interested in who or where they were headed to. He'd only been around for a while now but he'd already been dragged to enough dorm parties and hangouts than what he could remember. He'd stopped asking who or where they were going to a while ago. It was just a part of sharing a living space with six other guys, it was guaranteed that you'd meet a lot of people.

He made sure to raid their fridge of any red bull left to get the remaining sleep off his body before heading out with the others.

As they walked down the corridor, Jaehyun couldn't stop his eyes from falling on Ten's body. The other guy wore some really nice pants that fit him nicely around the ass, along with a choker and a lace-up band tee that exposed some toned arms. Ten was the pretty boy of their group, for sure, and he always dressed nicely. Jaehyun couldn't help but notice that he looked extra nice tonight, though.

''Ten,'' he called, making the black haired boy look back. ''You look really good tonight.''

Ten brightened up, face beaming from the compliment. ''Thank you, Jaehyunnie.''

He reacted to the nickname with a grimace and earned himself a playful wink from the shorter boy. Johnny whistled appreciatively after Ten's extravagant strutting which made the latter preen under the praise.

After picking up some takeout food at the nearest street corner of their dorm territory, they headed towards the party. As they got closer to the complex Jaehyun could hear vague music from outside, seeing cars parked and a few people milling around.

He raised his eyes a little in surprise. There were a lot of people, more than usual at these dorm parties. By the looks of it there was probably a few people that were off campus coming to visit.

Johnny and Ten greeted a lot of people on their way in and Jaehyun exchanged a knowing look with Hendery.

The younger boy was a social butterfly amongst them but never bothered much with others outside of their social circle, it was something Jaehyun was able to relate to and recognized in himself. He was comforted by having Hendery around, the small exchanges they made with their expressions making Jaehyun lighten up instantly.

As soon as they got into the apartment a tall handsome guy with a sculpted face, broad smile and loud voice boomed, ''Ah! You're here!''

Hendery and Ten got enveloped in a hug by the tall guy, all three of them laughing together through exclaims of greetings.

''With food,'' Johnny added, announcing their presence and going past the doorway with the takeaway bags together with Jaehyun. ''It won't be enough for everyone here, jeez. How many did you guys invite, Lucas?''

The apartment was way smaller than the one they had themselves, and they rarely had any dorm parties due to Doyoung threatening with a lawsuit —being the law student that he was, they all collectively decided to obey their friend— but clearly the guy over here, Lucas, didn't have the same rule with his roommate.

The handsome boy grinned. ''Nah, don't worry about that. Just take your food and eat wherever, and start drinking! We've already played flippy cup, prosecco-pong and taken hotshots.''

''I missed prosecco-pong?'' Ten asked, lips pouting in disappointment.

Lucas eyes widened, his face contorting into something yearning when looking at the other boy. ''We can play it again.''

Ten gave him a charming smile and walked past the other and with Lucas' eyes following him.

Hendery threw his arm around Lucas' shoulder and they made their way through the people crowding up the apartment. Jaehyun could recognize some of them at this point, Johnny got stuck somewhere in the living room space when seeing a familiar face ( _'Taeyong?'_ he'd exclaimed), leaving the rest of them in the kitchen.

Drinks were splayed on the counter with some cigarette butts in some of the empty cups. Jaehyun took his sushi order out of the bag, leaving the discomfort of sitting on Hendery's lap to move onto the only kitchen chair that hadn't been preoccupied yet. They'd been crammed up in the small space of the kitchen. Hendery, Lucas and Ten were all gathered at the kitchen counter speaking enthusiastically and loudly with one another while sharing the remaining food sprawled out between them. Jaehyun found it cute how Lucas seemed to have abandoned the rest of the party in his own home for them, and the realization of how close they all must be dawned on him.

He suddenly felt something loosely knock into his shoulder. 

''Oh, sorry,'' a voice said and Jaehyun looked up, meeting the wide eyes of the guy who'd accidentally knocked into him.

The guy had messy black hair, sharp cheekbones and an oversized thrasher hoodie on. He had a certain innocent appearance to him, though the remaining young features that had once been there seemed to have grown into the now elegant face looking at him. Jaehyun thought he was an ordinary good-looking guy, but his presence was prominent.

''No worries,'' Jaehyun said in between his chewing, observing the other.

He noticed how the guy was lingering to look at his sushi roll between his chopsticks and Jaehyun found it amusing.

''Want some?''

The guy's gaze went from the sushi to meet his eyes; surprise on his face but a small smile forming. ''Sure, dude. I'm starving.''

Jaehyun fed the guy without hesitation, finding it funny how the other didn't hesitate to lean down to eat from his chopsticks. He came across awfully comfortable in the presence of strangers.

The guy made noises of satisfaction as he was chewing happily. '' _So_ good. Is this the sushi from down the street?''

Jaehyun nods, endeared by the other and how he easily moved around with such effortless mannerisms. ''Yeah. We can share if you wanna, I got plenty.''

He looked at Jaehyun with pleasant surprise once again. ''Oh, no, it's alright, really. I was just about to get some more drinks, but thanks though.''

Jaehyun nodded, greeting him goodbye as he watched the messy haired boy gather up a few drinks and head back towards the living room. The crowd around the guy flocked to him, and as soon as Jaehyun had gotten sight of him he was gone.

The night rolled into a regular appointed schedule when he stood gathered with the other boys, Johnny having found them and brought more people to fill up the kitchen, with more alcohol intake.

Everyone always got way more drunk at the dorm parties than at the club because here you got an unlimited supply of cheap alcohol bought from the liquor store (in contrast to the high prices for a tequila shot at the clubs that restricted you in worries of your credit card eventually declining.)

So it was to no surprise that well into the night half of them were all hammered. Jaehyun managed to hold his own pretty well, far from the slurring side of his drunken state, while Ten was giddy and buzzed. He noticed the others rosy cheeks and bright smile. He was in close proximity to Lucas, the tall boy wearing a goofy expression on his face as he looked at the black haired boy and came across completely entranced with him. Ten was eating it all up.

Jaehyun thought they looked cute together.

Eventually Jaehyun got to the living room and ended up dancing with some girl he hadn't caught the name of, even as she tried to yell it into his ears several times over the loud music when he'd asked for it. It was fun, the girl caught up with his rhythm and would smoothly grind on him to close the distance between them when the song's lyric got more suggestive. He enjoyed it, and when the dancing got them a bit too sweaty he didn't resist when she dragged him to the couches to sit.

''You're a good dancer,'' she complimented him with a smile. Her leg was pressed against his.

Jaehyun returned her smile with his own, and right as he was about to reply with a flirty remark he caught the eyes of a particular messy haired boy.

It was the boy from the kitchen, he was sitting right across them with people around him chattering, immersed in conversation. He must've recognized Jaehyun because his sharp face broke into a cheerful expression.

''Bro!'', he exclaimed, excitement in his face warming Jaehyun's chest. It was adorable how enthusiastic the guy was over seeing Jaehyun again after only one quick interaction. ''Oh dude, I'm so happy to have caught you here again, what's your name?''

''Jaehyun,'' he replied, voice a bit warmer than intended, but he couldn't help but get drawn into the other's joyful energy. The girl was now long forgotten and he didn't mind when the dark haired boy ditched his friends across from the couch to sit next to him.

He took notice how many people were around this guy and how they seemed to flock around him, following his movements with their eyes. It was as if they were all drawn to his company.

''I'm Mark,'' the guy shook his hand when he settled down next to him on the couch. ''Mark Lee.''

The name rang a ball in Jaehyun's head.

''Wait,'' he said, narrowing his eyes to try and roam through his slightly intoxicated mind. '' _Mark?_ I've heard of you. Do you know Johnny Seo?''

Mark's eyes widened, ''Johnny? Of course, dude. Wait—''

He paused to take a closer look at Jaehyun through the dimming lights in the living room and something seemed to have correlated to the other as well. ''No way, you're the same Jaehyun I've kept seeing everywhere. I recognize you now, from the others' social media. I can't believe we finally meet like this!''

Jaehyun laughed with flattery, somewhat pleased that the other knew of him. ''Same to you. I'm glad we crossed paths.''

The conversation took off from there, and they got into all of the mutual friends they seemed to have. It got into them realizing a lot of other things in their lives being connected; having gone to the same high school, trained by the same basketball coach and even having lived overseas during their childhood.

Mark was two years younger than himself which became the determining factor of how they never actually came across one another. It wasn't to huge surprise that they hadn't crossed paths until now, with living in such a huge city and the age gaps being wider when you're younger. Jaehyun couldn't tell if it was the alcohol glorifying his thoughts, but talking to the younger boy felt a bit at home and familiar. They got along so well that he almost couldn't believe it was their first time talking.

He gave Jaehyun a comforting ease when around him, having a type of innocence in conversations that was refreshing. The boy didn't have any front to him. Even as he were good-looking and popular, Mark remained unbothered by appearances. It was hard to resist such an authentic energy and Mark was refreshing and fun to hang around. Jaehyun understood the flock of people that was constantly around him all night; his presence was addicting.

He got the feeling he did around his closest friends when talking to Mark, cracking jokes and talking freely without any false pretenses or ulterior motives to it. It was only when Jaehyun felt a tap on his shoulder that he got pulled out of the nonstop conversation he had with the other boy.

The girl he'd been dancing with before stood there, apologetic smile on her lips as she subtly pointed to her phone.

''I'm sorry to interrupt,'' she said, voice soft, ''but I'm about to head home. Would you mind if I got your number?''

Jaehyun blinked, glancing around incredulously as he realized how late it had gotten. He'd been sitting here with Mark for hours without noticing how the party had fallen into the early AM's. Most of the large crowd from before had thinned out and everyone left hanging around were either in conversations or spending time at the wide balcony for smokes and small talks.

''Oh, shit,'' he uttered in realization. ''And yeah, sure.''

He put his number in the girl's phone and sent her a text with his name for good measure, giving her an apologetic smile and added, ''I'm sorry for just disappearing earlier, by the way.''

''That's my fault,'' Mark piped in smoothly, reaching out behind him to greet the girl. ''I'm the one who held him hostage the whole night.''

She seemed to brighten up at the sight of Mark, clearly recognizing him and pleased with his words. ''No worries! That's fine, and thanks for a great party tonight.''

When she disappeared off the corner towards the door, Mark gave him a playful hit on the shoulder.

''She's cute,'' he remarked, but turned to look at Jaehyun puzzled. ''But I thought…?''

Jaehyun raised his eyebrow. ''Hm?''

''The guy in the kitchen,'' Mark nodded at someone behind Jaehyun. ''You sat on his lap earlier.''

He followed his gaze towards Hendery who was sitting in mid conversation with some people, drink in hand.

''Oh, Hendery?'' Jaehyun laughed, understanding the implication. ''That's my friend.''

Mark's face dawned in realization and he let out a sound of 'aha'. ''Gotcha. My bad, dude.''

''No need,'' Jaehyun said easily, setting down his last drink on the table and slumping back comfortably on the couch. ''Besides, you weren't far off. I'm bisexual.''

''Bisexual?'' Mark repeated, hands gripping tighter around the bottle he'd been drinking from.

He picked up on how the younger was intrigued by the topic, revealing it through his wide eyes and change in sitting upright from the slumped couch.

Jaehyun eyed the messy dark haired boy cautiously. ''Yeah, why?''

''Do you have a preference? How does it work?'' Mark blurted, not even managing to seem embarrassed about his directness in his intoxicated state.

Jaehyun laughed and felt amused by it all. Bisexuality wasn't exactly rocket-science.

He looked at Mark, trying to read his face. Even with a lot of drinks in his system Jaehyun tried to be as attentive as possible. He got the feeling the topic probably hit home for Mark, so he decided not to dig any deeper into it — sparing the other from any interrogation regarding whatever it was that he's questioning.

''Preferences?'' Jaehyun repeated, thinking to himself. ''Well, I know some people who have preferences. It's not always fifty-fifty attraction towards the genders, some go ninety-ten, eighty-twenty or whatever they prefer more. It can all be fluid and isn't nearly as mathematically fixed as I put it. I like both equally, but I just have it easier with guys.''

Mark listened intensely, not missing a word leaving his mouth and Jaehyun felt like giggling but stopped himself, in worry of the other misinterpreting his laughter for taunting. He found him adorable.

''How do you have it easier with guys?'' the younger asked, now fiddling with the strings of his thrasher hoodie.

Somehow, Yuta crossed Jaehyun's mind.

He thought of how after fucking, they'd been laughing in his apartment like friends. How comfortable he felt in the shape of the other's body, how he fell into him with ease.

''I click with them more,'' Jaehyun finally answered. ''Girls can be hard for me to break through. I don't always understand the layers of what goes on between me and a girl.''

Mark nodded, thoughts seeming to drift off to something. Jaehyun softly put his hand on his shoulder in attempt to comfort him.

''Sometimes it's just about the person and not their gender, you know?'' Jaehyun tried. ''Fuck sexuality.''

That seemed to lighten the burden on the younger's shoulder and he laughed lightheartedly. Jaehyun smiled, feeling the warmth spreading through his chest as he saw the other laugh. He already felt affection towards him, a protectiveness forming.

Jaehyun looked around, trying to place the others in the apartment. Hendery was gone now and less people were around so late into the night, all seeming to be of Mark or Lucas' more intimate friend group. He fished out his phone and looked through the group chat texts from the others. It was nearing 4AM.

''You can crash here,'' Mark offered, following his gaze on the phone. ''I share the apartment with Lucas, so we got plenty of room.''

''Really?'' Jaehyun said, looking up. ''Thanks, dude.''

He'd be too lazy to head home by now, even with the short distance. And the apartment was comfortable enough to crash in, the couch being big enough for two people to sleep on.

The night continued on with heartfelt musings between him and Mark until the sun started setting up and there were only a handful of people left, most of them making their way to the door. His last memory before drifting off to sleep was laughing stupidly with the messy haired boy about his Canadian pronunciation of the word 'out'. 

Exhaustion then took over like a sudden wave and they both knocked out on the couch.

***

He got woken up by an excessive amount of buzzing that tore through the silence in the living room. He felt the vibration so strongly that it shook the couch he was on, and he shifted around with an annoyed groan escaping his mouth.

He kicked lightly at whoever was across him and heard an, ''ow!''

''Dude,'' he heard Mark's familiar voice registering in his head as he whined in protest with a hoarse morning voice.

Jaehyun kept his eyes shut as he kept laying down when Mark reached for his vibrating phone.

A groan. ''Fuck, I forgot. My friend's on his way.''

''Hm?'' Jaehyun replied half-heartedly, too tired to fully listen.

''Nothing,'' Mark mumbled as he went back to a sleeping position on the couch. ''Man, this couch is so comfortable. No wonder people always sleepover.''

Jaehyun laughed lightly and couldn't agree more. It was spacious and soft, like a bed.

They must've drifted off to sleep again because the next thing he was woken by was an excessive amount of _knocking_.

''What the _fuck_ ,'' Jaehyun complained and felt the dull ache behind his head.

Jaehyun peeped from his half-cracked eye across the living room. In front of them was the wide table with empty bottles, cups and half eaten snacks scattered around. Daylight was coming in from the windows, showing the mess of the previous night.

Checking the time on his phone, he noticed it was nearing 3PM. Damn, they'd slept through the whole Sunday.

''Come in!'' Mark yelled, shifting onto his back as he rubbed his eyes.

He was laying across Jaehyun, last night's hoodie still on and messy-hair sticking through at all directions. Jaehyun grinned at how funny he looked.

The grin on his lips disappeared as soon as he saw Yuta walk in.

''Yuta?'' he sputtered, sitting up from his lying position on the couch at lightning speed.

Was he hallucinating?

''Jaehyun?'' the light haired boy said, surprise evident his voice.

Jaehyun stared at him, completely dumbfounded. Yuta was standing in the middle of the living room with side-striped sweatpants, oversized tee and a backpack slung over his shoulder. Jaehyun felt how his eyes were glued on the other and going over every detail of him as if it to confirm that he was actually present.

Yuta looked good, fresh and alert in contrast to the messy living room and the two confused boys on the couch.

''Do you two know each other?'' Mark asked curiously, a yawn escaping his mouth. He looked with interest between the older boys, sensing the tension.

''Yes,'' Jaehyun answered as Yuta replied, ''No.''

'' _No?_ '' he repeated with offense, eyes widening with hurt as he saw the nonchalant expression on the older boy's face as he wandered around the living room, appearing to look for something.

''We do know each other,'' Jaehyun insisted, adamant on this.

He wasn't sure why he was so stubborn on this, but the gnawing feeling of rejection from Yuta bothered him immensely and tugged at his chest.

''Oh, do we?'' Yuta then said, halting in his scavenging through a pile of books by the TV. He raised a daring eyebrow at Jaehyun. ''Care to explain how we know each other then, Jaehyun?''

Jaehyun froze, realization dawned on him. Well, this was… _something,_ he thought. He couldn't just say they fucked, right?

''Uh,'' he stammered unintelligently, met with Mark's questioning face.

''Exactly,'' Yuta sighed, stretching from the sitting position he'd been in and spared a glanced at him before he turned to the other boy. ''Mark, where did you put the folder? I'm working on the project the whole day. I need it.''

''In my room, I think,'' the messy haired boy answered slightly distracted as he kept looking at Jaehyun with a questioning expression. He stood up in sync with Yuta who disappeared into the door that must lead to Mark's room.

When the older boy was out of sight, Mark mouthed _'Did you two fuck?'_ to Jaehyun with awe displaying on his face.

Jaehyun groaned, nodding. Even a third-party could pick up on it.

''Your room is fucking disgusting!''

Yuta's voice was heard coming from the room and Mark rolled his eyes as he went after the older boy. ''Ah c'mon, please stop insulting my room. She's sensitive and delicate.''

Jaehyun lips quirked up into a half-small at the remark despite feeling disoriented by the situation at hand.

The two knew each other? Judging by the way Yuta had moved around the apartment, with familiarity and certainty, it was apparent that the two were close.

He decided to get up from the couch and follow the other two into Mark's room. Jaehyun was sure he was looking like a newly awaken idiot right now.

Mark's room was a bit messy, with posters of famous rappers about to fall off the stickers that held them to the wall. Study books, papers and notes were all shoved into the corners of the room. His room was bigger than his own, having a big bed and a TV set-up with games ready to be played on it.

When he stood by the doorway he caught sight of Mark sitting cross-legged on his bed with Yuta crouching beside him looking at a folder sprawled out on the floor. The older boy met Jaehyun's gaze when he entered the room.

''Where are you headed to?'' Jaehyun asked him, a bit too self aware of his misplaced presence in the room.

Yuta's eyes softened. ''The library, I have some work to do today.''

''The project you mentioned?'' Jaehyun repeated with question, remembering the words he'd said earlier. ''Do you need any help? I can come with you.''

Yuta grinned fondly. ''You don't even know what the project is about.''

Mark looked between them, a frown appearing between his eyebrows. A pout was forming on his lip as he spoke up, garnering the attention.

''I thought we were gonna chill today, bro!'' the younger boy complained, not caring to hide his disappointment. He looked at Jaehyun. ''What about our hangover bonding?''

At the words coming from the other boy he started to feel a bit bad about leaving him so soon. They'd gotten closer than what's bound to be normal overnight and would've probably spent the whole day lazing around the apartment with fast food takeout and gaming if Yuta hadn't appeared. Jaehyun was almost about to change his mind when he saw Yuta get up from his position on the floor and collect the folder into his hand, letting the backpack fall loosely on his shoulder as he got ready to leave.

The sight of the older boy sent a rush through Jaehyun's body, and he didn't hesitate this time.

''I'll call you, yeah?'' Jaehyun said to Mark, his eyes stuck on the light haired boy making his way out. ''We'll hangout tomorrow or the day after if you wanna.''

When Yuta walked passed him to head towards the door outside, he felt the others arm brush past his own and got an electric jolt from the contact. A warm feeling spread through his chest.

''Bye, Markie!'' Yuta called brightly as he got out of the room.

Mark sighed, waving them goodbye. ''Alright, see y'all.''

When Jaehyun caught up to the other boy in the dorm hall, he was met with Yuta's gaze that was giving him a slow once-over.

''Fun night?''

''Yeah,'' Jaehyun mumbled sheepishly, dimpled smile showing.

It felt strange walking the hall side by side. Being around Yuta left him in a little bit of a daze.

''How do you know Mark?'' Yuta asked when he held up the door for them to get out of the dorm building. ''I didn't know you two were friends.''

''Only as of last night,'' he admitted. ''By the way, could I get his number from you?''

Yuta rolled his eyes, though there was a playful glint to his eye. ''Doing what you do best, eh? Snatching numbers up.''

Jaehyun laughed in mock offense and Yuta gave him a teasing wink.

When they finally got to the library Jaehyun stuck to his offer and did his best to help Yuta with his untitled project. It turned out it had to do with his thesis he'd hand in for his graduation at the end of next term. It required way more intense work, writing struggles and frustration than Jaehyun had first anticipated. He was able to be of more help than he thought, having a little knowledge of the titled subjects left in the back of his mind. He still found it easier to understand how variables were operationalized over the complex study of human society any day.

Jaehyun would go around the library looking for books that Yuta would use for his research based paper and in between Yuta's writing and his own assistant working, he'd indulge in conversations with the other.

He had no idea how he managed to sit through those hours slightly hungover, clothes from the previous night still on, ruffly hair and no food since the previous day. But when he'd lift his tired eyes from some social anthropology book in front of him and was met with the sight of Yuta's light hair falling over his eyes, lips pursed together in concentration as he went over his notes, Jaehyun couldn't help but endure it.

Maybe Yuta's presence made up for it all.

Eventually his stomach grumbled in protest and he gave up, sitting back on the chair at their corner of the library and stretched his stiff arms.

The older boy's gaze went from the books to him and Jaehyun gave him an apologetic look to have interrupted.

''Sorry, I better get going,'' he said as he let a yawn slip out. ''I'm gonna grab some food and clean up.''

Yuta put his notes down. ''Let me treat you to some food. You can clean up at my place if you wanna.''

''You sure?'' Jaehyun asked, taken by surprise from the offer.

The older boy smiled and nodded. ''It's the least I could do. You saved my ass with all the work you helped with. Thank you, really.''

Jaehyun felt something in his chest tighten at the sight of Yuta's soft smile.

He'd felt a bit silly at first when he'd realized what he was doing — being hungover with last night's clothes and offering to blindly help Yuta without really being that close to the older boy yet. But something within Jaehyun wanted to break that barrier, he wanted the other to crave being around him as much as he enjoyed having the other around. The slight rejection from earlier still echoed in his mind and Jaehyun was known to be competitive; his mind was set on wanting to impress Yuta and to gain his approval.

It was dark outside when they got out of the library, the evening having passed them by a while ago. The day was ending and Jaehyun made sure to send a reassuring text out to the group chat making sure the others wouldn't worry about his whereabouts.

When they were walking towards Yuta's apartment, Jaehyun offered to take the older boy's backpack on his shoulder which got him an exaggerated applause from the other.

''What a gentleman!'' Yuta teased amidst his mock applause, his wide smile beaming at him and Jaehyun continued bowing in thanks as if he was on a Broadway stage.

Yuta hit him playfully on the shoulder and they burst out laughing, messing around like that all the way to his apartment.

**

Jaehyun was content after his long, fresh shower when he finally stepped out of that bathroom. He walked into Yuta's room with the tee and sweats the older boy had borrowed him.

''That was a long shower,'' Yuta noted and greeted him with a small smile as he walked towards the bed.

Jaehyun ran his fingers through his damp hair, feeling a bit bare. He was wearing the other boy's clothing after showering in his apartment and it all felt a bit too domestic. They'd hung out, eaten pizza together and talked. Jaehyun had even helped take a look at Yuta's TV that had been out of function for a while.

Yeah. It was all a bit different from the other two times he'd been here.

''Lost track of time,'' he murmured in response, sitting next to Yuta on his bed.

The other boy must've picked up on his nervous energy because he shut the laptop he'd been on and closed the small distance between them.

Yuta met his gaze and his warm, dark eyes seemed to ground Jaehyun a bit. He leaned down to place a gentle kiss on his lips and when the kiss separated Jaehyun couldn't help but blurt out the words that had been on his mind ever since he stepped into the shower.

''Would you fuck me?''

Yuta's eyebrows raised in surprise, caught off guard. ''You want me to? I just assumed that— you know, you didn't… get fucked.''

Jaehyun wouldn't meet his eyes. ''I wouldn't have asked if I didn't, would I?''

The older boy laughed, enjoying the smartass remark from him. Something switched in Yuta's eyes and made Jaehyun feel hot underneath his gaze.

Yuta's hands trailed down his body and the tone of his voice changed. A bit rougher. ''Well, I'd love to fuck you.''

Excitement jolted through Jaehyun's body and he felt the prickling warmth spreading from the others touch.

When Yuta pulled to get him out of his sweatpants —well, _Yuta's_ sweatpants— he gasped hotly into the others mouth as he felt his cock, half hard, exposed into the open.

His cheeks flushed when Yuta positioned his legs far apart to finger him open with the dripping lube. Yuta wouldn't break eye contact as his first finger entered him, making Jaehyun bite his lip.

''You're pretty like this,'' he heard Yuta murmur as he fingered him open, sounds of the drenching wetness coming from his hole and making obscene noises together with the steady pace of Yuta's second finger inside him.

Jaehyun felt his face heat up even more, an unwilling moan escaping his lips.

It was only so much of Yuta's fingering he could take before he felt the other brush up on his sensitive spot when he arched his finger inside his hole, making Jaehyun's legs start to shake. He let out a whine and felt himself tighten around Yuta's fingers.

Yuta paused in understanding as Jaehyun took hold of his upper arms, silently begging to give him more.

''Hurry,'' he whimpered, voice strained and low. He also knew that he wouldn't be able to take the intimate sight of the other boy in between his legs for much longer.

Not many words were exchanged as Yuta silently withdrew his fingers and swiftly got out of his clothes and pulled Jaehyun's remaining tee free from his head.

Heavy breathing came from Jaehyun's lips as he watched the other prepping himself. Yuta looked unreal like this; toned arms, narrow waist with his chain still hanging from his naked body. The light in the room made his skin glow.

Jaehyun couldn't help but stare at the smooth slope of his nose, the cupid's bow of his lips that was glistening pretty with wetness from their kissing and the cute crease between his eyebrows as he was concentrating on getting the condom on right.

Yuta was unbelievably pretty, it was almost painful.

It made it all more difficult for Jaehyun to meet his gaze when he bottomed into him, fully in Jaehyun's ass and skin so close against his own he felt dizzy. Yuta started fucking roughly into him, the creaking sounds from the bed blending in with Jaehyun's weak moans.

He felt Yuta's gaze on him and it only made every movement hit him harder with their close proximity. Jaehyun closed his eyes shut with pleasure as he tried to focus on the sounds of their slapping skin, the hot feeling forming at the pit of his stomach, the leaking cum from him his cock — _anything_ but the weight of Yuta's intense eyes on him.

Yuta's hands curled into the pillow by his side and he felt the thrusts speed up. Jaehyun felt like he was on the verge of coming, needing grounding, so he dug his nails deeply into Yuta's biceps.

Their bodies were too close, too tightly intertwined and it overwhelmed Jaehyun, having Yuta inside him and his breathy moans so close to his face.

It was all too much.

Jaehyun came in a broken moan with legs shaking from the strain of keeping them wide open, throat dry from the pleas and whines having spilled from his mouth. He tightened around Yuta and felt the others breath hitch, stilling for a moment before continuing to fuck Jaehyun through his orgasm and coming shortly after.

His body missed the warmth that had filled him up when Yuta pulled out, shuddering a little from the loss inside of him. Yuta took the condom off and laid himself next to Jaehyun.

When the older boy didn't make a move towards the bathroom Jaehyun instinctively tried to get up instead when he felt Yuta's gentle arm stop him.

''Stay still,'' Yuta ordered softly, and he listened as the boy leaned down to press a kiss onto his lips.

It was an open mouthed one and their lips moved slowly in a bit of a lazy pace after their post-orgasm. His eyes drifted off to close as he gave himself in to the warmth of the others lips. When Yuta pulled back from the kiss Jaehyun blinked as if woken up from a daze.

Yuta held his gaze, searching back and forth between his eyes for something.

''You don't like eye contact, do you?'' the other eventually said.

Jaehyun sputtered clumsily, thrown off. ''H-huh?''

He was sure that his face was heating up again, and well, _fuck._ He cursed inwardly to himself, wondering why on earth Yuta had to be so goddam observant and at top of that, unusually honest.

Yuta smiled in amusement, though there was a split second of hesitation evident on his face before speaking again. ''I just notice you… you sort of avoid it? Like, when we fuck.''

Oh, god.

Jaehyun shifted, reminded that he was still lying naked on his back at a very vulnerable position towards the other. He sat up with his back against the bed's headboard and glanced at Yuta before rubbing his neck in apprehension.

''I'm sorry,'' he said, finally meeting Yuta's curious gaze. ''It's just fucking intense, man.''

To his surprise he was met with Yuta's beaming laughter. It eased the tension of Jaehyun's shoulder and he felt whatever heaviness that'd been hanging in the air evaporate at the sight of the older boys wide smile. Yuta's head tilted back in mid laugh as he made the whole room brighten up just like that.

It melted away any unease Jaehyun had.

''Of course it's intense,'' Yuta then said as if it was obvious, a wide smile on his lips. He leaned back on his hands as he comfortably regarded him with more focus to his gaze. ''It's sex. It's the most enjoyable when it's intense and raw.''

Jaehyun tilted his head a little to the side, eyeing the other in wonder. Yuta looked so confident, assured and in balance with himself. He had no issue bearing himself, literally nude, in front of him. He couldn't help but find Yuta's attitude towards vulnerability and sex as something even more attractive about him — how he continued to find more things at this point was beyond him.

But perhaps the magnetic pull he felt towards the light haired boy was the cause of him saying, ''Show me.''

He felt his pulse hammering wildly in his chest as Yuta came closer to him. With his eyes locked into Yuta's deep, cat-like ones, it became all that he was aware of.

''Keep your eyes on mine,'' was all he said, and Jaehyun nodded, unable to do anything else.

Yuta's hands got on his hips, moving him with a little force onto a kneeling position in front of him. His hands roamed to the back of Jaehyun and his breath hitched when the other grabbed his ass.

Every touch of his set Jaehyun's body aflame when looking into Yuta's eyes, seeing how every movement got a particular reaction from them.

It was when Yuta's hand moved to grab his half-hard cock that he felt a bit too hot and dizzy for the room. Why did the tiniest movements of the older boy cause him to spiral with just his _eyes_ on him? Every brush of skin, every breath taken was filled with _Yuta, Yuta, Yuta._

His body jolted when he felt Yuta's thumb slide into the slit of his cock, groans of, _'oh, fuck,'_ and begs of, _'Yuta please'_ , coming from Jaehyun.

The older boy was practically glowing hearing the noises from him, hooded eyes content as he was stroking Jaehyun into his full length. Jaehyun's breath shuddered when he felt Yuta move his chest to come in contact with his cock, Yuta's hard nipple rubbing against the slit of his cock. The sensitive contact made them both gasp.

''Fuck,'' Jaehyun cursed, eyes never leaving the others as his body reacted to every touch. '' _Sh— shit—_ ''

He looked into Yuta's eyes, his gaze shifting for a second to take in the boy's open lips moaning his name and his pretty flushed cheeks.

Jaehyun came over Yuta's chest in a shuddering breath, feeling the last energy surge through his body. He heard the older boy's satisfied hum when Jaehyun groaned and finally broke the eye contact to lay down, completely exhausted.

He opened his mouth to say something, anything cohesive really, but a hoarse chuckle in amazement was the only thing he got out.

''Good, huh?'' Yuta said, stretching beside him with a grin. A yawn slipped from his mouth shortly after and Jaehyun's tired eyes tried finding a clock somewhere in the room.

It must be late into the night and time had been completely forgotten between the two.

''So fucking good,'' Jaehyun praised, leaning up to kiss the other boy whose eyes twinkled with satisfaction from the response.

After lazing around in bed for a while Jaehyun decided to get up and find a towel in the bathroom to clean them up with; a routine starting to form between the two and he found himself not minding it.

They fell asleep quietly into the night, bodies worn out and mind filled with wonder of the intimacy that had been exchanged between the two. It's when Jaehyun's phone alarm blared at 9AM that he woke up bewildered, reminded that he'd slept over and that it was Monday morning. He had a class that he had to attend.

Jaehyun fiddled around the room naked in the dull light seeping from the window, trying to collect his clothes when Yuta stirred awake, looking at him with half-woken eyes and tousled hair.

If he wasn't in mid panic about hurrying to class, he'd pause over how cute the older boy looked.

''What time is it?'' Yuta's hoarse morning voice asked him.

''Sorry,'' Jaehyun whispered in apology, speaking quietly in fear of stirring the other more awake. ''I gotta head to class.''

Yuta nodded half-heartedly in understanding. He settled back onto bed as he watched Jaehyun with a bit more clear eyes.

''You can borrow some of my clothes,'' Yuta suggested, ''just come by later and drop them off.''

Jaehyun hesitated, thinking it through for once. He couldn't walk into class with Saturday's party clothes and neither did he have time to stop by his own dorm.

Well, fuck. Just his luck.

''Thanks,'' Jaehyun said then, reluctantly pulling out a yellow hoodie from Yuta's closet and putting it on with the sweats laying on the floor from last night.

''Thanks for the orgasms,'' the light haired boy countered cheekily.

Yuta's eyes creased into crescents as he grinned underneath his covers, enjoying the sight of the other's awkwardness a bit too much. Jaehyun groaned in protest as he heard the other laugh, eventually giving into a dimpled smile before waving off in goodbye as he ran out of the door.

The morning embraced him when he left the apartment heading to class. Jaehyun absentmindedly thought of how weak he'd felt with Yuta's eyes on him even with the daylight surrounding them, newly awakened and innocent.

*

(They said that the third time you'd slept with someone during a friends-with-benefits situation is when you could tell whether the dynamic would be kept casual or if feelings were stirring up. For someone who'd been in several hookup situations Jaehyun was painfully unaware of this fact, having been unaffected by it all each time he was involved. The only thing he's aware of was that Yuta got him a little, maybe the _tiniest_ bit of weak, whether it be sexually or the unidentifiable emotion he felt with the others presence around.

Jaehyun didn't think of what that particular unidentifiable emotion was and he easily brushed it off whenever it entered his mind as he'd never been one to dwell on things.)

* * *

**[weak when ur around](https://youtu.be/71zZ8lT4eeY)** by blackbear playing distinctively in a nearby café that jaehyun walked past on his way to morning class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talk to me or share your thoughts **[here.](https://tellonym.me/jaehymns) **


	4. four

Yuta took up all of Jaehyun's time. When he wasn't in class, lectures or under a workload of exams to prepare for he was in Yuta's bed. And as of more recently they were at the cinema, at a skatepark at night, in a cat café —which Jaehyun had suggested instead of the regular cafés they were at, and it hadn't taken much convincing for Yuta to agree— in Jaehyun's car eating McDonald's drive-thru or in the good old fashioned library at campus.

Jaehyun wasn't sure how it gradually got to that point over the past month, but being around Yuta felt natural. He felt a genuine bond grow in between the boy's touches, bright smile and hooded eyes staring right into him as he fucked Jaehyun into oblivion. Something close to a friendship was forming, strangely enough. As much of a friendship that you could get out in between constant sex.

Yuta turned out to be the funniest person he knew, much to Mark and Johnny's complaints, and he would be found laughing with his body creased over on the living room floor whenever the older boy was playing out scenes from his favorite anime in a high pitched voice.

''What are you doing?'' Jaehyun laughed between his words, watching the older boy twist away from their kiss to watch the anime scene unfolding on the TV screen that Jaehyun had gotten around to fixing for him.

Yuta's eyes were glued to the screen, forgetting about the rough hands on his hips and his position in Jaehyun's lap.

Missing the attention from the older boy, Jaehyun playfully leaned down to breathe hot air at the other's sensitive stomach that was revealing skin.

''Stop it,'' Yuta protested through his giggles, eyes finally back on him now.

Jaehyun was smiling widely. ''Why?''

''Because I'm watching one of my favorite scenes from this anime. Stop being otakuphobic.''

He couldn't help the boisterous laugh coming from him, his chest shook with the impact and Yuta looked at him with amusement. Yuta's gaze was on him, peeking from underneath where his light hair was falling over his eyes in a pretty way.

''Now I'm just sure you're laughing at whatever I say,'' the older boy teased slyly, but the smile on his face revealed how pleased he was with Jaehyun's constant laughter.

''No,'' Jaehyun protested, a ridiculous smile on his lips as he met the other's look. ''You're just the funniest person I know.''

Beyond the older boy's intimidating stare and cool exterior there was a bubbly and lively side to him that Jaehyun grew fonder of. 

He enjoyed the late nights with Yuta too, and not only when they were spent in his bedroom. The others in the dorm had planned to go out partying which he'd declined — he seemed to do that a lot lately. Jaehyun had instead taken Yuta to a skatepark at night during a Friday and he had his warm touch on his shoulders, his own hands on the boy's waist as he carefully taught him how to balance himself on a skateboard without falling off. Yuta's eyes had been brighter than usual under those street lights, his laugh echoing loudly against the empty skatepark so late into the still night.

Yuta had later taken him into a secluded spot in the park and got on his knees as he pulled down his pants and put his slick lips against Jaehyun's hard cock. Whenever Yuta withdrew his head to lick at his slit agonizingly slow, the cold air had put shivers down Jaehyun's spine with his cock out in the open. The adrenaline, the warmth pooling in his gut and the heavy gaze coming from the boy on his knees for him had Jaehyun smiling widely as he came into Yuta's mouth.

Jaehyun was constantly smiling. Even during the time they'd parked in a dead street, the other boy straddling him as Jaehyun drenched his fingers with spit to stretch Yuta's throbbing hole open before thrusting into him lazily with the condom found in between the car seats. When the space of the car felt too tight Yuta took over the work by bouncing on his cock instead, riding him in a slow pace that had Jaehyun's hands grip tightly into his ass and face gone in bliss.

''You're smiling,'' Yuta had pointed out breathlessly, voice filled with pleasure as Jaehyun continued steadying him in his tight grip when he rode him.

''Hm?'' he'd responded with distraction, too far gone with the feeling of being inside Yuta and having the leather seat of the car squeak underneath their moving bodies.

Yuta had hushed him with an open mouthed kiss and moaned into his mouth as hot breath filled his senses.

Their bodies were getting familiar, they had an understanding of what the other liked and it caused the comfort they had already felt with each other deepen. They had trust. Jaehyun realized this when Yuta had called him in the middle of a weekday, stress evident on the other boy's features as he let him through his apartment door.

Jaehyun hadn't spoken when he picked up on the anxious energy, he'd only touched the other gently when he was inside of him, brushing the light hair out of his sweaty face as he let Yuta look into his eyes when he fucked into him. Jaehyun had let him hold onto the contact, eyes never wavering or leaving the other's face as he let him into a part of his own vulnerability, too.

Yuta's features had softened then, the edge caused by his worries disappearing. Jaehyun didn't leave his side during the day until Yuta finally cracked a smile, and he felt how relief flooded through him at the sight.

The older boy never spoke much of his personal struggles or what worried him, but he let Jaehyun touch him. So he made sure his touch made up for the words he couldn't comfort him with.

*

''What was your first impression of me?''

Yuta eyed him from his bed as he watched Jaehyun sit on the small space of the window sill, cigarette in hand as he was airing out the room from the smoke. He had a bit more decency when smoking inside than the other boy had.

''Hm,'' Yuta mused while his head leaned to the side to observe Jaehyun further. It was cute.

Ironically enough, that was exactly what Yuta replied with. _Cute._

''Cute?'' Jaehyun repeated with a laugh, disbelief evident in his voice. ''You thought that I was cute?''

Yuta winked. ''Yeah.''

Jaehyun scoffed, memories from that first night flooding into his consciousness.

''Right. We both know you wanted to fuck me right outside that club,'' he teased, meeting Yuta's observing eyes on him.

Always observing. Jaehyun found that more flattering lately, how much attention Yuta seemed to pay him.

Instead of responding immediately, Yuta seemed to think of it. He leaned back towards the headboard of his bed as he lazily played with the sheets around his waist. Both of them were half-naked, Jaehyun had some shorts on, but other than that he was bare.

''I mean,'' the older boy started, ''you were hot, obviously, but the way you approached me was cute. Endearing. All that gooey stuff.'' When Jaehyun remained unimpressed he added with emphasis, ''I _liked_ it, it was different from the forced shit people go for when trying to get laid.''

He became more pleased with that answer. Hearing the word cute coming from Yuta's mouth was oddly more satisfying than all the other words he could've gotten.

Yuta's attention went back to his phone as Jaehyun finished off his cigarette. He didn't ask him for his first impression back, and he was grateful for it.

Jaehyun didn't know what would've spilled out of his mouth if he'd asked.

*

It wasn't as odd anymore when Jaehyun willingly stayed over the whole night; the first few times had been accidental, with them fucking so late into the night that they both just passed out right after from exhaustion, but one night Yuta had pulled him back into the bed when he'd been on his way out. Jaehyun had let himself be pulled into the bed again, and staying over became less of a big deal after that.

**To:** Yuta

[image.jpg]

_Your hoodie has been rotting in my laundry basket... I really forgot all about it R.I.P_

**From:** Yuta

_Keep it. You look cute in it._

Jaehyun barely had the smile spread all through his face when looking at his phone screen before another buzz quickly followed after.

**From:** Yuta

_Come over after your next class btw, I got food to share!!_

Getting two exclamation marks of excitement from the other boy was rare, so he didn't hesitate to rush over after his next class ended.

It was only when his friends spoke up that he noticed that the time spent between them was getting a bit out of hand. Johnny had noted how many parties he'd been skipping out on over the course of the month which caused Jaehyun to finally notice his own absence from their weekly gatherings. He'd barely thought of it himself while being so preoccupied with Yuta.

No one was as vocal or dramatic as Mark, though.

''You've seen Parasite with him _two times_ ,'' the messy haired boy exclaimed with wide eyes underneath his round glasses, face exasperated. ''Who the fuck goes to see a movie twice?''

''It's a good movie.''

Mark gave him a look that said 'you've got to be fucking kidding me.'

Jaehyun shifted in the couch under the younger boy's glare as they were gaming, keeping his own eyes on the TV screen where their avatars were fighting through the battle round.

''Well, it's about class discrimination and explores the social inequality in our society,'' Jaehyun mumbled, feeling a bit silly over his defensiveness that was coming through. ''Yuta has already seen it four times. I just…—'' Mark made a noise similar to something between a scoff and a snort. ''Shut up, man. I went with him afterwards because his analyzes of it were interesting, okay? Hop off my dick about it.''

And it was true, it had been interesting. Yuta's progressive mind and knowledge managed to point out new details of the movie that Jaehyun hadn't picked up on at first. Hearing him speak so passionately about a movie also rubbed off on him and got Jaehyun quite invested, too.

''Whatever, man,'' Mark said and his eyes were back on the TV screen, his avatar long gone out of the game from his distraction. ''I don't really care what you do, I just need my best bud to not ditch me every weekend for my _other_ best bud.''

Jaehyun laughed and Mark made an expression of theatrical dramatics and the thought struck him of how eerily similar it was to Jungwoo's mannerisms.

Jaehyun got more aware of how much time he put into being with Yuta after that, but he couldn't bring himself to care or change any of it. Why would he? It wasn't unusual for him to be enthusiastic around new people — he had a track record to him that consisted of him completely engulfed with someone when he would first encounter them.

The first time Jaehyun had met Johnny he'd never missed a day without making plans with him, it could've been seen as borderline obsessive if Johnny hadn't reciprocated it with just as much enthusiasm. When Jaehyun got closer to Doyoung he'd managed to slip into the older boy's hectic schedule by helping out and somehow softening the boy up into their friendship. He had even gotten attached to the hip with Mark too; texting funny links to each other constantly, keeping a dedicated snapchat streak and recommending songs from their joint Spotify playlist (that Jaehyun happily paid a premium for as he was content spoiling the younger).

He liked getting close to people. Jaehyun was a people-person.

Yuta only became different from his past hookups in the way he fit into Jaehyun's life so effortlessly. He managed to contribute to his happiness a whole lot under the pressure of studies and stress as Jaehyun navigated through the new environment. Jaehyun knew what he was doing, because he'd done it so many times before; the only difference was that he had a hard time imagining himself getting bored of Yuta. He genuinely liked having him around.

When his mind drifted off during lectures or late at night, Jaehyun would weigh the possibilities of continuing a friendship with the other boy when they'd fucked enough times to get bored of it.

Because the thing between him and Yuta was working so far, and he had no reasons to doubt it.

Well, until Thursday.

Jaehyun was straddling Yuta on his couch and they were exchanging sloppy, slow kisses. He received heavy moans of pleasure in response whenever he licked deeper into the other's mouth.

The couch was dipping under their weight and he leaned into Yuta's warmth, surrounded by the remaining taste of cigarettes on the other's lips and the softness of the contact. Yuta's hands trailed down to play with the hem of his shirt, letting his hands slip underneath to touch his skin which caused Jaehyun to let out a shaky breath through his nose as the kiss heated up.

Kissing Yuta when leading up to the anticipation of something more was one of his favorite things to look forward to. It exhilarated him and had excitement shoot through his body, impatience prickling at him for wherever the touch led next.

Yuta gripped his thighs with a strong hold and the touch made Jaehyun move down roughly against him, causing Yuta to hiss when his ass came in contact with his pelvis. It's when Jaehyun moved down to nibble and lick lightly at his neck, the other leaning back with a hum exposing his throat to him, that he let his half-lidded eyes open to get a good look on the other boy's face.

His hair was pushed back, eyes shut as he held onto Jaehyun and gave himself into the sensation. Yuta's chest was moving up and down with heavy breathing and his shirt was rising lower and lower, his skin being revealed. The sight made something in Jaehyun's stomach flip.

_Pretty,_ he thought as he let his eyes wander.

Something caught Jaehyun's eyes that revealed itself with the shirt lowered down. He recognized a faint, purple bruise peeking through underneath Yuta's shirt that had ridden down, displaying his collarbone and the bruise was glaring through at him.

A hickey.

He froze, mind starting to spin as the other boy's touch was still on him. The hickey was obnoxiously clear against Yuta's smooth skin, looking freshly planted and new.

Jaehyun thought over multiple things. _Did I do that? No— was it from me? No, it can't be from me. But—_ The rational part of his brain reminded him that he'd been spending the couple of last nights away, that it couldn't have possibly been from him from how fresh it looked. The only other possibility was something that twisted an ugly feeling in Jaehyun's stomach and he felt his throat tighten up at the thought.

_A hickey. From someone else?_

''You good?'' Yuta breathed, catching onto his averted attention.

''Yeah,'' the lie slipped out of his mouth easily, and Jaehyun's defenses were up by reflex as his mind continued to torture him with intrusive images.

Yuta sprawled on the bed, his intimate looks and touches, the smile he'd reserve for Jaehyun when he'd get the right spot at his prostate to have the older boy moaning, whining and begging for him — except that it wasn't him. It was for someone else now, someone who was placing a perfect hickey on Yuta's collarbone.

Jaehyun started to feel a bit nauseous from the thought.

The skill he had for staying calm when his mind was running wild stepped in to save him, running on autopilot. ''I just remembered, I need to give Hendery access to my laptop before the deadline tonight. Fuck, I completely forgot.''

Jaehyun laughed, albeit a bit forced, to smooth over the tension in his voice. Yuta had a frown on his face now and the pleasure from before was gone as he inspected his face closer.

''He can't figure out a MacBook to save his life,'' Jaehyun added, his lighthearted tone covering up for the strain before.

At a time like this he hated how observant the older boy was.

_Just fucking let it go. Let it go._

''Oh,'' Yuta said eventually, blankly. ''Okay. You coming back afterwards?''

Jaehyun got off the other's lap, standing up and checking his phone absentmindedly to seem occupied. He'd be embarrassed to admit that he was putting all his focus on preventing his hands from shaking.

''Yeah, yeah, sure. I'll text you.''

He felt Yuta's sharp eyes on him all the way to the front door, and only when he got out of the apartment complex could Jaehyun feel like breathing.

Why did his chest feel so fucking heavy? His breath— Jaehyun felt his heart hammering against his chest so much it pounded loudly in his ears. The fucking _hickey._

Purple, sensitive, bruised. Purposely placed there, from someone else. _Someone else._

Jaehyun ran his hand through his hair, stopping in the middle of the streets to check for his surroundings to ground himself. The empty streets were still, street lamps casting comforting light with cars parked next to the curbs. Everything was quiet while Jaehyun's thoughts were loud.

This was fine, right? It was fine. Hooking up with other people should be fine.

Jaehyun knew though, from how the ugly feeling spread through him, that it wasn't.

Why wouldn't Yuta just tell him?

He felt immensely stupid. Jaehyun put too much of his time and focus on the other boy; in such a ridiculous amount from wanting to impress the older boy so, _so_ badly that the thought of hooking up with others hadn't really occurred. He'd been distracted, he spent every waking hour wanting to reciprocate the happiness he felt when hanging out with the other.

And the few days he'd been cooped up studying, not being able to meet Yuta, the other boy had fucked someone else.

Jaehyun felt his skin prickling and embarrassment was slowly settling in, causing an uncomfortable realization over him.

He was just some disposable fuck.

Finally settling onto the curb of the street, Jaehyun put his cold hands into the pockets of his jacket as he let the silence from the street soothe him.

Was he the only one used to exclusive fucking with his hookups in this? Jaehyun was too used to a certain unspoken rule of not fucking others when you had a fuckbuddy. Mostly for safety reasons, of not catching any STDs, but he then remembered how Yuta and him hadn't ever fucked without a condom.

Perhaps it was just Jaehyun who'd been completely fucking oblivious in Yuta land, and the realization left a bitter taste in his mouth.

A buzz from his phone interrupted his thoughts.

**From:** Yuta

_Did you get back safely?_

Jaehyun laughed drily as he looked at the screen, feeling unease settle into his stomach. Instead of responding he exited out from his messages to scroll through the contacts before stopping and hovering over a most recently added contact.

He pressed on the call to dial.

'' _Hey_ ,'' the static voice picked up after a few dials, the soft voice from the girl at Mark's party registering. '' _What's up?_ ''

''Hi,'' Jaehyun mumbled, looking upwards at the street light that blinded his sight for a minute before looking towards the empty streets. ''Uh, I know you haven't heard from me in a while. Sorry about that. I was just thinking of you.''

He got a reassuring laugh from the other end and it helped ease up some of the tension from his uptight shoulders, making him decide that this was the distraction he needed.

'' _I don't mind, really. You're cute. What are you doing right now?_ ''

Cute. It was nice hearing that word from another voice again.

An hour later Jaehyun was met with the sweet smile of the girl he'd met from what felt so long ago, and he didn't hesitate when she gestured for him to go in through the door to her apartment with a knowing look in her eyes of what's to come. 

***

Jaehyun hadn't texted Yuta later that night, and he kept his distance until the boy checked up on him again the morning after. 

He'd responded with a dry reassurance, gradually getting into breaking their habit of constant texting to less and less for each day that went by. Days quickly turned into a week and he hated admitting how drastically his everyday routines changed without the older boy. The more he realized how much he'd actually put time into Yuta the more stupid he felt and the more determined he got to stay away and avoid him. It became a circle of his pride, and Jaehyun came to realize the ego he had within him.

It was painfully obvious that Jaehyun was avoiding him to the stark contrast of how often they hung out before, but Yuta didn't really push for an explanation, he only came with different offers to hangout again.

**From:** Yuta

_Coffee after your lecture? Your Iced Americano is waiting </3 _

[image.jpg]

Something ached within Jaehyun as he read Yuta's text at the end of his lecture, recognizing his coffee order in the picture next to the older boy's drink that he'd always get.

He got annoyed with himself when he noticed other details in the picture too; like the rings on Yuta's hands that were visible in the corner of the picture with his arm resting on the table, the books sprawled around and his cute desktop picture on his laptop with some anime set as the background.

**To:** Yuta

_Sorry, got some course work after this :(_

He needed some space, he reminded himself. Yuta wasn't an exclusive fuckbuddy of his, and they hadn't ever agreed to a proper friendship outside anything, so he wouldn't prioritize him as one.

Jaehyun filled up the time he usually spent with Yuta with his friends again; going out to eat with Hendery, helping Jungwoo with the script for his theater rehearsals, spending more time with Doyoung in the library again and lying on their living room couches on weekdays while listening to podcasts like he used to with Johnny. He found the most comfort in Mark, the younger boy had become someone he couldn't imagine himself being without now.

Mark had an ability to offer comfort without ever bringing up whatever was troubling Jaehyun, just by his presence. Jaehyun would study on his bed while the other sat on the floor gaming, filling up the silence by the loud sound from the TV and his enthusiastic shouts into his headset. He'd get excited over small things (''Dude! They finally got the oreo flavored chips I wanted to try out!'') that it rubbed off on Jaehyun, and each occurrence of this made the distraught feeling within to be pushed back further.

The good thing was that everyone around him seemed happier, Jungwoo had even stopped crying during their Saturday's get-togethers.

''Look at what your horoscope says,'' Jungwoo chirped in a good mood the Sunday morning after their late breakfast.

Jaehyun was hungover, _again_ , and had ditched his hookup last minute while he spent the entire morning avoiding looking at his phone from the pent up anxiety it gave him. The last thing on his mind was what the fuck the stars were saying.

''No,'' he grumbled, pushing himself into the couch as he put his hoodie up.

The reminder of it being Yuta's yellow hoodie struck him and he felt a little nauseous, and he couldn't blame it all on the remaining alcohol getting out of his body.

''Look,'' Jungwoo insisted, moving to sit next to him and waving his phone around with the astrological text written in it. ''Aquarius, right? Johnny and Doyoung, listen too! It says here that you should be wary of the influence from a water sign. That _'the brink of your cup is filled and might topple over, dear Aquarius'_.''

Jaehyun frowned. He had no idea what the fuck that meant. Was he supposed to stay away from drinking water?

''Isn't Taeyong a water sign?'' a smug voice joined the conversation and Jaehyun turned his head to see Ten approaching them.

Johnny and Doyoung who'd been sitting in the kitchen stools watching something from Johnny's phone, obviously not fully listening to Jungwoo, both visibly stiffened at the mention of the name.

''What does it say?'' Doyoung curiously asked, looking over at their direction.

Ten snickered in satisfaction as he came to sit next to Jaehyun and Jungwoo, looking at the phone with the oh-so-holy text of the week written.

Jaehyun wasn't indifferent towards the topic, he was just hungover and a bit hung up on Yuta.

He brought up his phone as the others carried on talking enthusiastically about the astrological elements that all seemed very similar to the plot of Avatar: The Last Airbender, and he sent a text to the person who'd occupied his mind all night and morning.

**To:** Yuta

_Are you a water sign?_

When he received a buzz not even a minute later he felt pleased with himself. Yuta was normally a slow texter.

**From:** Yuta

_A week goes by and you're suddenly into astrology. What else have I missed?_

Jaehyun tried ignoring the implication of them not meeting with it already gnawing away at his subconscious.

**To:** Yuta

_Just answer the question~_

**From:** Yuta

_Cute. And what do I get out of it?_

''Jaehyunnie, why are you smiling at your phone?''

''Shut up,'' he murmured, hiding his face by pulling his hoodie further down.

**To:** Yuta

_What do you want to get out of it?_

His heartbeat picked up in its pace from the anticipation of this, and he had to admit to himself that he'd missed the excitement he'd get from any interaction with the other boy.

**From:** Yuta

_I want you._

Jaehyun felt his body heat up and looked up from his phone, self conscious of himself and the effect the other's words had on him that he felt the need to see if he'd garnered any attention. The other boys were already on another topic and were paying him no mind, so he quietly went out of their living space into the privacy of his room.

With a shaky breath and his cock hardening against his thigh in his pants, he opened up the front camera and pulled up his hoodie up teasingly, revealing his bare stomach and his low rising sweatpants outlining his growing hard on.

Taking the picture, he immediately sent it to Yuta without any caption to it.

His face felt hot as he waited anxiously for a response, distracting himself with images of Yuta laying sprawled on his bed; holding in moans as he tried to stifle any sounds with Jaehyun fingers inside him, his dorm mates oblivious outside his room.

Buzz.

**From:** Yuta

[video.mp4]

_You're so fucking hot_

_Look at what you're doing to me, Jae_

His eyes were so glued to the video's frame with Yuta displayed in mid masturbation that he couldn't take in the text message and the nickname the older boy used. He scrambled to get a hold of headphones, heart thumping loudly in his ears as he pressed play and heard the moans coming from Yuta's mouth with his hands working his own length — the wet sounds and video playing along with it drove him insane, his eyes never leaving the sight of Yuta doing this for him.

Jaehyun's throat felt dry, his breath picking up. His cock was aching against his thigh now and he was itching to touch himself, to relieve it, but he wanted to wait.

**To:** Yuta

_How badly do you miss me?_

**From:** Yuta

_Bad_

Jaehyun let a shaky breath out, his hoodie felt too warm as the agonizing want for the other boy went through him. He had an itch that he needed to scratch and Yuta was there to provide it.

He got up from the bed, bee-lining for the door to head out.

**To:** Yuta

_At your place in 10min_

**

If seeing Yuta again after over a week felt surreal then touching him made him out of grasp with reality. Any of the obscene images made up in Jaehyun's mind thinking of the older boy when he'd touched himself didn't make up for how Yuta looked underneath him right now, cheeks flushed and eyes lidded as he let Jaehyun spread his legs wide open.

He had his hands leveled on Yuta's thighs keeping them exposed to him, taking in the sight of his chest rising heavily and cock falling on his toned stomach as Jaehyun felt himself twitch with longing for the other boy. Yuta was someone beautiful in whatever state he decided to present himself in, but there was something so achingly gorgeous about him like this.

Yuta's usual observant expression was relaxed into bliss, his eyes softer from its intimidating gaze and his broad chest was open, his strong thighs open, Yuta was _open_ for Jaehyun. He took him in, however Jaehyun wanted, and he let himself get lost in it.

He was an escape of your choice while captivating you into something entirely else all at the same time.

Maybe Jaehyun was too hungover on a Sunday to make all the right decisions but right now, as he grazed Yuta's nipple and earned a soft moan, he felt like it was the right one.

He guided himself down between Yuta's thighs, hearing the other's breathing picking up as he came closer to his entrance. When his wet tongue came in contact with Yuta's hole he steadied his firm hands deep into the skin of the boy's legs to stop the squirming he got in response.

Yuta's moans encouraged him as he went deeper into the warmth, licking and sucking sloppily at the stretching entrance until he pushed his tongue down entirely into it; feeling Yuta clench around it.

'' _Jaehyun_ ,'' Yuta whined, his voice losing its stability before he fully got his name out.

Jaehyun tightened his grip on Yuta's thighs, ushering the legs wider as he dug his tongue in and out of the hole with squelching sounds matching the whining coming from Yuta's mouth.

''J-Jae.''

Jaehyun stilled for a moment, the nickname registering with Yuta's wavering tone, and when he hovered between his ass to look up at the other boy did he see the other's entire focus on him.

It was that look. He recognized it, and it made Jaehyun nervous.

A hot, determined and an intense gaze. The combination of those eyes on him with the sight of the boy naked, open to be taken care of by Jaehyun, was on the brink of too much.

It rattled Jaehyun to his core and made breathing a little harder.

Instead of focusing on his eyes Jaehyun fixed his gaze on the other's lips. He reached up to hover his own lips over Yuta's, inviting the other to close the gap, and he did.

''You ready?'' Jaehyun pulled away to ask softly, breaking their kiss.

Yuta responded by pushing him back onto the bed, having Jaehyun's back lying down and positioning himself on top of him. It was when the other boy unexpectedly gripped his cock to align it to his hole that he felt his breath hitch, face heating up.

''Look at you blushing.''

Yuta was taunting him, there was a glint in his eyes and it only made Jaehyun's face feel warmer.

''You forgot— uh, the condom,'' Jaehyun stuttered, feeling distracted and dizzy from the heat of Yuta's stare on him.

Yuta leaned down, his ass grazing Jaehyun's cock in the movement of it, to place a wet kiss on his mouth. When the older boy broke the kiss, he hovered his face over Jaehyun's which caused an air of intimacy between them.

''No need. I'm clean.''

Jaehyun gulped, confusion and excitement washing all over him. He didn't think further when he nodded. ''Alright, me too.''

When Yuta settled down onto Jaehyun's length, the feeling was different. Not only because of the missing presence of a condom this time, but also from the way Yuta moved with caution. As if he didn't want to scare away Jaehyun with any intensity, as if there was something fragile to it all.

Yuta's touches seemed to have hidden meanings of their own, even during sex.

Jaehyun turned off his wandering mind and tuned to Yuta's low moans, his own heavy breathing and the noises of the other's ass meeting his cock with each bounce. As Yuta rode him lazily, he was able to feel every movement of the other boy so much more without the thin veil of rubber between them.

Yuta then planted his two hands on Jaehyun's chest to arch his ass back, fingernails digging into his skin for a solid grip as he changed his hole's accessibility to another angle and he fucked down roughly onto him.

He couldn't help the moans spilling out of his mouth with the warmth forming in the pit of his stomach, and Yuta seemed to like it, because he rolled his hips down onto his cock with a determined pace that got them both into blabbering messes within seconds.

''F-fuck, fuck, _fuck_.''

''I'm— I'm close. _Ah,_ fuck. You feel so good.''

Their straining voices filled up the room with an air of desperation as they were close, _so close_ , and Jaehyun's hands reached up to brush at Yuta's sides. He guided their last movements with a gentleness, in contrast to the other's quick riding, before Yuta's hip started stuttering and the rhythm got thrown off.

A shudder ran through Jaehyun as he felt Yuta come untouched all over his chest, clenching around him which had Jaehyun lose his breath for a second. He held Yuta's hips down as he thrusted up onto a fucked-out Yuta, getting a last few strokes in before pulling out and spilling all over.

Jaehyun's orgasm seemed to bring clarity over Yuta and the blissful pleasure in his expression shifted onto him; gaze fixed and questioning.

''Why did you pull out?''

He blinked up at the other boy in surprise as he saw Yuta get off him, resting his head next to Jaehyun and keeping his eyes on him, his body slumped over. The other's voice was the closest thing to a pleading whine outside of their sex that Jaehyun had ever heard.

It was adorable and he reluctantly acknowledged how it made something funny flip in his chest.

''You wanted me to come inside of you and have you leaking the whole day?'' Jaehyun asked, amusement seeping in his tone.

Yuta pouted with a cute frown forming between his eyebrows. ''Yeah, I missed you.''

Jaehyun scoffed, breaking their eye contact to look up at the ceiling while ignoring how his chest started hammering loudly.

_Hickey. Disposable fuck._

Jaehyun's thoughts sobered him up and he cleared his throat, sitting up and feeling conscious of their naked bodies.

''Let me clean you up and I'll get going.''

He felt a warm hand stopping him from getting out of the bed and was met with Yuta's eyes on him, a displeasing scowl at the corner of his mouth. ''Why are you already leaving?''

Jaehyun raised an eyebrow. ''And why would I be staying?''

The touch on his arm disappeared and Yuta rolled his eyes, reaching for his nightstand to grab a pack of cigarettes instead. While he lit up his cigarette, Jaehyun took the time to get dressed while getting into the bathroom to clean them up.

When he was dragging the hot towel slowly around Yuta's crotch where most of the mess was made, he felt daggers on him with each movement. The tension was thick with their close proximity, the cigarette smoke swirling between them.

''You've been avoiding me,'' the older boy eventually said, eyes boring into him. ''Are you fucking other people?''

Jaehyun laughed, dropping the towel while the other followed him with his gaze. There was a bit more menace to his laughter than he intended, but he felt like it wasn't completely uncalled for.

It was just comical.

''Isn't that what we do?'' Jaehyun mused, finally meeting Yuta's sharp eyes. He crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned back against the headboard, looking at the other on the bed; naked with a cigarette in hand, hair messy and face bare.

Yuta was a bit too pretty, as always.

''I don't know, since it was a while ago we really _did_ anything,'' Yuta shot back, light tone to his voice and a hint of aloofness.

Jaehyun felt a bit annoyed about the casual attitude Yuta was going about it; dodging the question and redirecting the conversation to get his desired outcome.

He was playing a game of his own. Jaehyun was still hungover and tired. He felt exhaustion come over him, making his shoulders droop as he uncrossed his arms and picked up his phone to check.

''Been busy,'' Jaehyun said curtly. ''You can have your hoodie, by the way. Thanks for letting me borrow it.''

The words seemed to make Yuta snap out of his attitude as Jaehyun moved out of the bed to leave, making the other boy put out his cigarette in a swift manner as he got up, pulling Jaehyun from the door before turning to his closet. He grabbed a pair of baggy shorts and a shirt to put on before leading him back to his bed.

''What are you doing?'' Jaehyun protested, although half-heartedly when Yuta didn't let go of his grip on him.

''Shut up, Jae. We're watching a movie, okay?''

Jaehyun hated how the nickname spread a warm feeling through his entire body. He hated even more how they actually ended up in bed watching a movie, eventually ordering food in and lying lazily in bed until evening as they caught up on their week. The tension seemed to have dissolved and the room was back to being filled by Jaehyun's laughter whenever the older boy said something outrageously funny.

Before Jaehyun knew it, his Sunday was spent with Yuta and everything kind of felt like it was back to how it used to.

''You know,'' Yuta eventually spoke up and bumped his leg, catching his attention away from the movie. ''We fucked without a condom.''

Jaehyun glanced at him, a bit distracted by the movie plot. ''Yeah, I know. You don't need to worry about it. I'm clean.''

Only when he felt the other's legs tangling with his own did he give up on watching the screen and turned to the other. A smile was playing on Yuta's lips and he looked comfortable, blankets pulled around him and clothes hanging loosely on his fit frame.

''I know, that's not what I'm trying to say, though.''

''Then what is it?'' Jaehyun shot back, dragging his voice out to tease the other a little. He received another bump on his legs and grinned.

Yuta's eyes moved from his eyes to his lips and Jaehyun held back from kissing him, waiting to hear what the other had to say.

''If you wanna continue to fuck me raw, we gotta keep it clean. Like the sex being strictly between us, no fucking around with other people.''

Surprise came over Jaehyun. Oh.

''Uh, sure,'' he agreed, though his voice revealed how caught off guard he was. ''I don't mind.''

''Good,'' Yuta said, pleased. ''Come kiss me to seal the deal.''

Jaehyun laughed. ''You're so fucking bossy.''

But he did as the other told him, and the kiss became sweeter than intended with the laughter still in his throat when his lips met the other's, causing it to be a bit clumsy.

He took the hoodie with him when he eventually left Yuta's place, and he couldn't deny how he'd missed the scent from the other's clung onto the fabric.

* * *

added to yuta's playlist; [_**still mine**_](https://youtu.be/t6dWn64rxss) by alextbh


End file.
